My first meeting in SA was in Jacksonville, FL Monday night at 7 p.m. I was more of an outsider looking in at that time. I would come in, say a few words maybe, and mostly keep to myself. I saw people successfully working a program and doing what was suggested to them by their sponsors and in the literature.

At the time I was willing to do a version of what they were doing but it had to be “my” way of doing it. I was going to pick and choose things I like and use them as I see fit. This didn’t work. I continued to use half measures and kept acting out, I just felt worse about it. This would happen with employers, relationships, and even paperwork I was filling out! I was going to do it my way and not the suggested way even when I made it harder on myself by doing so. To this day, when someone suggests something to me, my immediate reaction is always negative or in opposition to what was suggested.

Over the recent holidays I was at my parents’ house for Christmas with my wife. My wife and mother had been cooking for hours and had made a great dinner for everyone to enjoy. After dinner my wife looked at me straight in the eyes and suggested I do the dishes. If she had done this years ago I would have taken it as a threat or her trying to start a fight with me.

This time around I actually took pause and thought about what she had suggested. I felt the options of throwing a fit and starting a fight over her suggestion start to stir inside of me. I continued to pause for what seemed like an unnatural eternity until I had enough time to consider that maybe her idea was a good idea. I told her she was right, and I went in the kitchen and did the dishes along with my brother and father. It ended up being the most rewarding and fun experience I had that day. This would not have happened if I used my old ways of doing things. This program has given me tools to make better decisions. The decisions give me a better and more fulfilling life.