I found SA shortly after I turned 28 years old. I heard an old-timer once on a tape say that he didn’t know why anyone under 30 would come to SA—they still had decades of good lusting left!

I knew I had zero years of “good” lusting left. My drug had quit working for me and I was stuck in a cycle of pain, occasionally masked by short-lived pleasure, which ended up causing more pain.

I had tried what seemed like everything—religion, therapy, self-help, even quitting my job to try to fix my problem. I came to SA desperate to stop, yet also having accepted that ‘this is never going to get better’ (from my own efforts or outside circumstances).

I cried a lot in my first meeting and related so much to the stories of other members, but I wasn’t really sure I was a sexaholic. I was explaining to another female member a few weeks later why my situation was unique and different and she suggested “Why don’t you do some more ‘research’?” My answer was NO. I didn’t want more pain than what I already had.

This is almost exactly what it says in AA’s 12 & 12, “To the doubters we could say ‘Perhaps you’re not an alcoholic after all. Why don’t you try some more controlled drinking, bearing in mind meanwhile what we have told you about alcoholism?’ This attitude brought immediate and practical results.” (p. 23)

I can only speak from my own experience—God somehow brought me to a place where I was ready to accept SA fully when I was young, for which I often shake my head in wonder and gratitude.

I surrendered myself to working the program as directed by my sponsor and participating in the fellowship—and it worked!

Meetings, Step work, having a sponsor, making phone calls, service, retreats and conventions are all part of my program. One day at a time, I have been sober for five and a half years—a real miracle.

Before I found SA, I thought my life was basically over despite my age—nothing satisfied me. Now I see the years ahead of me as full of opportunity to see what I can give to others and what God will bring my way. It’s a pretty big attitude shift for a self-centered sexaholic like me!

My old thinking still crops up from time to time, but through the help of God, my sponsor, and others in the fellowship I am able to recognize it, surrender it, and continue on the path of recovery.