I Had the “Textbook,” but in SA I Found the “Workbook”

I am grateful for being a sexaholic and not being alone having this disease. A priest told me about SA when I was 26, I googled and read some member story’s and thought it was not so bad in my life. “I only had a problem with porno and masturbation. I didn’t cheat on my wife, I didn’t have sex with a prostitute, I didn’t have sex outside my marriage, … After all, it was not so bad.” I thought I still could manage it on my own. If I only would pray hard enough God would help me and fix my problem.

One year later, the same priest told me about SA after I confessed. This time he told me his own story, how he found SA, and how SA changed his life. I had witnessed the change in the life of the priest and knew what had brought it about. I wanted that change as well.

When I stepped into my first meeting at age 27, I heard stories like mine and stories of people who had gone down the scale way deeper than me. In that same meeting I discovered something else: all the things they had done that I hadn’t done, were things I hadn’t done … YET! “I didn’t cheat on my wife YET, I didn’t have sex with a prostitute YET, I didn’t have sex outside my marriage YET, …” They told my story of what could/will come if I don’t work the program. In their stories I heard my ‘future’ story if I hadn’t received and started working with this beautiful program.

One of the prejudices that kept me one year from going to that first SA meeting was the following: I was very religious and active in my church and was afraid that there would be a conflict between SA and my faith. But I discovered something incredible when I started working the SA program with a sponsor. I had learned many good things in my faith, the theory or, as I call it: the “textbook.” I knew if I could bring it into practice, it would bring me closer to God and away from my addiction but I kept on stumbling to bring it into practice because of my addiction. In SA I found the “workbook,” I found a way how I could bring everything I learned in my faith, in the textbook, into practice. They were the perfect complements. And never has there been any conflict between them.

I want to encourage every fellow to not be afraid to tell people who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior about SA. Even if the person doesn’t take your advice right away—as I said, it took me a year and a friendly reminder before I dared to take a leap of faith and go to a meeting.

I have found such a big treasure, worth more than all the gold in the world. I have found TRUE life. Freedom in surrender. I cannot keep this treasure to myself because by sharing it, it becomes bigger.

Fries M., Wevelgem, Belgium

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