I have been struggling with my 9th Step for almost a year now due to Covid and all that not being able to travel freely. But in the past two months at the encouragement of my sponsor I have discovered writing letters like this and have found much freedom in them:

To the men that I have lusted after on the internet, either on Tumblr, You Tube, porn websites, erotic blogsites, or just by scrolling through image searches.

Gentlemen I am a sexaholic and am powerless to stop myself from looking at images; either still, or moving, of men in various states of undress or in the very act of having sex. When the craving hits all my good intentions disappear. I am so sorry for all the harms I have done to you. I am just one of many that have fueled this culture of death that has you entrapped. Maybe you are like me and can’t get enough sex and so see this lifestyle as the only one for you, so what is the harm? I see it in your eyes, there is a deadness there, a pain that you are running from. I know this pain for I have it too. You see we are one, it does not matter that I have been white knuckling it, and failing at sobriety for thirty years. I’m part of the reason you cannot get free. I see this as I attempt freeing myself. I am deeply sorry that I have been part of your enslavement to this culture of porn.

I would like to make this up to you somehow but I’m a poor man, all that I can do is say prayers for you and to offer up my pain, the pain that I would once have run to porn to cover over and forget. Whenever throughout the day or night this pain surfaces instead of running from it as I used to do l will offer it up as a pray for you. May the Lord grant you all that I desire for myself.