There is a saying that goes something like this, “Not by argument will you change a person’s mind but by telling them a good story.” How true this is when speaking of Dave T. when he shared his experience, strength, and hope.

Dave T. was a long-term member of SA who had a gentle way of telling stories of recovery, both with and without “string figures.” A string figure is part of a game (like cat’s cradle) and is formed by manipulating string on, around, and with the fingers. Dave collected stories and string figures from different cultures, and he often used them when sharing the SA message with others. He was as authentic with SA members as he was with someone he met on the street. He loved life and lived the life he wanted to live.

Dave’s passing marked a sober and contented life lived to the full. He was gifted and didn’t hide his talents. He was brilliant in many ways. Dave’s spirit will surely continue to shine. Dave touched so many of us in a most extraordinary way, and I am grateful to have felt his loving, gentle, and wise influence. I feel privileged to have met Dave and thankful I can call him a friend.

Dave traveled widely! In 2019 he visited all the SA groups in Ireland within a few weeks giving day-long and shorter workshops, all with charming string figures. He traveled 2,630 miles (4,235 km) across Ireland by car, bus, and train. That’s the equivalent of traveling across the whole of America or from Madrid, Spain to Moscow, Russia! And before driving to any far destination, Dave would offer a prayer, “Thank you, God, for a safe journey,” and then he’d say, “Now we can relax and enjoy the trip.”

Dave believed in making action a part of his recovery. When he felt resentment or lust, he’d stop the car, open a window, and say, “Get out!” as he pantomimed the action of throwing the unwanted thought or feeling right out the window. Dave had practical ways to keep life manageable too like keeping dishes washed so they don’t pile up, making his bed every morning before he left the house, and consistently paying bills before they’re due.

Here are things I heard Dave say more than a few times:
When he wanted you to enjoy life and your recovery, he’d say, “Don’t get caught looking at the bug on the windshield!”
When he wanted to gently refocus someone: “It’s never been the problems in life, it’s always been the solutions!”
Oldtimer Sylvia S. taught him, “Don’t fear your disease, just trust the program.”

Dave often handed out “Gems of Recovery” at retreats. This was a list of several more pithy slogans. (It was originally printed for the Oklahoma City SA & S-Anon International Convention 2004.) He lived the SA program in so many ways including when he said, “A true share is not what you keep but what you give away.”

Thank you, Dave!