Excerpts from two inquirers’ responses, July 1981:
“Thank you and God bless you in your work. You’ll never know how many lives you have helped.”
“’It’s about time.’ The clergy are not helping people with these problems so it’s time for those who have ‘been there’ to help themselves by helping others. … I pray for your success in this mission. It will succeed if centered on God and bear fruit of love and humility.…”
From the first SA newsletter, July 30, 1981:
[The reference is to the first SA conference held the weekend of July 25th, with seven men and two women from around the U.S.]
…The feeling of oneness was remarkable. Can’t help feeling the unity was due in part to our individual commitment to what we’re after—freedom from the obsession of lust and sexual sobriety. This was reflected in our policy agreement on defining sobriety… Perhaps it was the tough, uncompromising and clear stand on this crucial matter … that has attracted so many to identify and want that very sobriety all over this country.…
It seems that Sunday we were connected—connected to each other and somehow, in and through that, connected with the Love that is God. And this is why the meetings are so important; most of us will not be able to stay sober without meetings. The meetings are where we give of ourselves in sacrifice to each other and where we receive the connection this brings. … And with meetings like we had Sunday as a possibility for each of us where we now live, each in his own city, we have great hope.
For now, after that joyous but heavy parting, it is each of us where we are, sharing the message of our own recovery and growth—our experience, strength, and hope—and carrying it to others.…
From the August 18, 1981 newsletter:
…[M]ost of you are going through some hard times, and some have slipped. The high from 7/26 [the conference] and the meeting here won’t do it for us. This and other “band aids” help out, but in the long run, radical spiritual surgery is the only hope for our disease. … Meetings and working the Steps. That’s what works.…
The good news is that apparently some people want to stay sober! So far, about 75 in all throughout the country, with new takers coming in every day.…
As most of you know, we conducted a group conscience of the Steering Committee by phone and came up with the letter to the media, which was sent to all responsible media requesting SA information. [A copy of the media letter was enclosed with the issue.]
…[S]ome … have discovered the perils of not using a meeting format to structure the meeting. Our egos as sexaholics are not known for their diminutive stature… The format serves as insurance against personalities that would dominate meetings. Little statements like “no cross talk at this meeting” can save much anguish. The format becomes kind of a silent authority everyone learns to live under.
From the third newsletter, August 20, 1981:
…We’re still in the slow process of getting most of you together out there, and we know how anxious you are for SA meetings. … But what we have now is better than nothing, and it’s up to each person desiring sobriety to take those difficult but necessary first steps out into the light. … Everyone, at least, has the phone number of at least one recovering sexaholic on the program…
From newsletter Number Four, September 1, 1981:
[Roy and Sherman announce their “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” of flying unlimited mileage during September for $398 each anywhere American Airlines flies in the U.S. This allowed them to drop in on almost every SA group that wanted to get started, plus the chance to meet members where no group was in the immediate offing.]
From the October 12, 1981 newsletter [reporting on Sherman and Roy’s trip through ten cities in 24 days]:
“The beautiful spirit of cooperation and helpfulness was unbelievable! In each city, we left with great longing in our hearts, if we could only meet again. And again… Already we have been welded together in a Fellowship stronger than anything we have ever known.”
Without a doubt, SA is now national. There are some 11 groups, either in process of forming or already going strong, with new groups coalescing all the time. Individual members who say they want sobriety but are not yet part of groups bring the total number of SA members to about one hundred.
…We are in process of filing forms with the IRS that will grant us non-profit-organization status so membership contributions are tax-deductible, as in A.A.
…The best news of all is that people are staying sober! Not everybody, of course. But people who shouldn’t be staying sober are staying sober—people who don’t even have an SA group yet! Without even realizing it, perhaps, many have taken their First Step—a change of attitude that makes the receiving of help from above possible.…
Wherever we went we sensed a deep and genuine hunger for sexual sobriety, together with an affinity for the SA program of recovery. … We found universal acceptance among professional people both to ourselves and the program of SA. We also found that going with at least another member was much more effective than going alone.
[It was during this trip that SA’s “The Problem” was written, “In the air, between flights, at odd times during meals, or whenever inspiration struck—4:30 in the morning, for example…” It was first submitted for Fellowship feedback with this issue.]
From the newsletter which carried the “ESSAY” masthead for the first time, November 15, 1981:
The word from SA members around the country is unity. We’re being welded together in a fellowship of recovery. Men and women are getting sober! Coming out of themselves into the light, and making contact with other members. Coming to. Becoming part of the healing process of each other’s lives. That’s good news.…
New SA groups are forming. There’s cross-fertilization starting between groups. And the spouses have started their own Fellowship—S-Anon, patterned after the Al-Anon Family Groups associated with A.A.…
Another word from around the country is that many have come off their SA “honeymoons” and are facing the reality of living sober (or not living sober). … But we’re rediscovering [the Steps] for ourselves through experience.
In the Los Angeles group we’ve experimented with doing a “formal” First Step. The member who was the “guinea pig” gave his First Step … and asked for feedback from the group… Another danger was the tendency to get too analytical. It doesn’t seem to help recovery to know why we did what we did, but it does seem to help to see what it did to us and others.…
Acceptance of “Lust Kills” and “The Problem” was unanimous. Acceptance of the Statement of Principle was unanimous…
[The AA Grapevine article “How to Stay Married Though Sober” was included with this issue of the newsletter.]
A member writes: “…I can’t stand just plain sobriety; it’s not enough. I need something to live for, and nothing better fills that black hole of emptiness always lurking behind the center of my being. The measure I give is the measure I get back.”
7th Tradition: Total member donations received since June 22nd—$258.50.
