I have been sober for about a year now in SA by the grace of God. I like movies and I like to rent action films. My favorite show as a kid was Starsky and Hutch. I always wanted to be a cop and carry a gun. In fact, in grade school, I used to carry a dart gun.

Now, in recovery, my whole system is winding down from a life of violence, violence to myself and others. I have noticed myself watching violent movies and then replaying the violent scenes over and over in my mind. It has the same effect as sexual lust, but is even more harmful to me.

I believe this is just another progression of my sick mind and another avenue my disease uses to try to destroy me. But thank God, I can now surrender it, give God control over it and be free of it! Now I have to do my part and stop feeding the violence into my mind. Without God I can’t, without me, He won’t. A pretty good deal for a sex drunk.

My sponsor thought I might send this to you. I hope it will be of service.