My story of sexual sobriety is like an exodus story. In May 1997, I left familiar surroundings and boarded a flight to Rome. On that day I surrendered everything to God—my addiction to lust, my life and work as a priest, my objects of sexual obsession and emotional dependency, lustful movies, pornography, inappropriate touching of minors and women on public transports, having to resign from a job of trust, loss of trust, dignity and direction, and a cancelled schedule for psychiatric treatment.

I landed in Italy and proceeded to a town where I enrolled in a school of spirituality. Immediately I made connection by mail to my SA sponsor and to the International Central Office, informing them of my new address. I also joined the SA Loners’ List. I worked the first 10 Steps of SA with my sponsor’s kind and patient companionship. I read with great enthusiasm and openness the AA Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, some meditation books at my disposal and every issue of Essay that arrives.

I humbly followed the advice of my sponsor and wrote to sober and recovering members of SA through the Loners’ List. When opportunity allows, I make 12-Step calls to those who are still suffering from lust addiction and keep spreading the hope of SA, even if there is denial and ignorance of the deadly nature of the disease on the part of others. Twice I disregarded open lust temptations from women.

I cut my supply of lust through TV, magazines and pictures. On the positive side, I connect to God on a daily basis and during moments of temptations, and thank Him at night for His help. I give myself to the person God sends to me during the day without self-interest or self-centeredness. I experienced on significant occasions the wonder, joy and freedom of connecting with another human being on a deep level of respect, love and unity! Of course I also suffered from and was crushed by memories of the past and visual images of fantasy which came periodically during the first year of sexual sobriety.

I said no to the next drink of lust. I did not die. Instead, I’m very much alive and strong today. Letters from SA loners reveal the fragility of sexual sobriety and the pain of relapses. I share something of my own experience to give a helping hand and spiritual support. The more I gain strength and quality sobriety, the more I understand the seriousness and destructiveness of lust in my life, and the more I see I need God and SA to discover a more useful, happy and fulfilling life.

I can relate very well with the cry of despair of a speaker at an SA conference who said, “Why can’t people get sober? Why can’t people understand…?” In my years of slavery to lust I couldn’t stop lusting because I kept practicing the acts and insanity of lust! Only after I mustered my remaining strength to leave behind that world of my illusions and started taking the steps of sexual sobriety and freedom did I begin to understand there is life after lust. The more I stay away from the first drink of lust and gain progressive victory over it, the more I come to understand the grace and beauty of my life, which I spend to give love rather than take it, to give hope rather than destroy it, and to believe in the power of God rather than deny Him!

After two years of learning how to live a normal life according to the 12 Steps and principles of SA, I hope to return to my home and share the SA message with sexaholics who are suffering. For that, I count on the prayers, unity and support of everyone in SA Fellowship.