My first year in recovery was about avoiding triggers. That was disastrous because what I was really practicing was avoidance. If only I don’t see x, or y, or z, I won’t be tempted. It didn’t work. It only made me more sensitive to triggers.

It is important that I face the world on the world’s terms. If I avoid looking at you, I’ll never see the person inside, and my perspective of you never gets beyond objectification. Objectification is easy; connecting honestly is uncomfortable. When I sit through the uncomfortable part, with an honest desire to move beyond what my eyes judge, I ask my Higher Power to lead me through. Then I get the gift of beginning to know you, which is something I never experience if I avoid you.