My life really is changing as a result of my participation in recovery.

The other day my wife bought a little cabinet to set her sewing machine on. It also has shelves, doors, trays, and an extension that swings up to make it longer when needed.

As usual, the cabinet had to be assembled. That’s where I come in. I get to put things like that together. Actually, I enjoy the process—well, some of the time.

Frequently I set aside the directions to see if I can figure it out myself. Sometimes that system works, and I can relish “superior intellect.” Who needs directions, anyway? Certainly not someone as brilliant as me.

More often than not, however, I end up frustrated with the whole effort, feeling more like an idiot than a genius. Perhaps I have to disassemble part of it because I did things in the wrong order. Or I may break a piece trying to force it to fit where it doesn’t belong. What fool designed this stupid thing? Inevitably, I have to drag out the manual and start from the beginning. Defeated again.

This time, I decided to start this project by reading the instructions. Maybe it’s because I’m working the Twelve Steps, and I can see how important it is to do them as they were designed. It only took a few minutes, and it made putting the cabinet together a lot easier. I could even carry on a conversation with my wife while doing it—something virtually impossible in the past. (In fact, she always knew better than to even speak to me in my old assembly-crisis-mode.)

To be rigorously honest, I have to admit that I didn’t follow the instructions to the letter—I cheated a little. I figured I could do step 6 before step 5, since I already had the cabinet turned that way. When I got back to step 5, of course, it was harder to do, and I realized it would have been simpler to do it as instructed. Live and learn.

When it comes to assembling something like a sewing cabinet, I’m learning there’s a better way to do it: follow the instructions! I am also realizing, ever so slowly, that the same principle applies to the greatest assembly project of all—putting my life back together. It’s so much easier when I just follow the Steps!