In a recent issue of ESSAY, a series of thought-provoking questions were posed in an article entitled “What If?” Each question challenged us to ask what difference it might make if we believed the SA program of recovery could have a significant effect in our lives. As I read each statement, I tried to remember how I felt when I first came into SA more than ten years ago and wondered if this program could work for me. Could I really be freed from the compulsion lust had held over me for so long? I had my own case of what another article in that same ESSAY called “Terminal Uniqueness.”

At times I found myself doubting my chances of recovery. I would get very negative and say to myself, “Nothing is changing.” I remember a valuable word I learned from a therapist. She encouraged me to add the three-letter word for hope—yet—to all my self-doubting questions. When I catch myself thinking, “This program isn’t working for me,” I restate the sentence, “This program isn’t working for me yet.”

SA has made a significant difference in my life, but I am still a work in progress. In all the areas of my recovery where I still struggle to use God’s strength to overcome my weaknesses, I try to remind myself that the victory just isn’t here yet. It took a lifetime to develop these habits, and I need time to allow this program to change me. It seems that when I can be as patient with myself as I know God has been, it becomes easier to surrender both my lust and my character defects.