I came into SA two years ago, when I was released from prison after serving four years for indecent exposure. I had been out on parole for a year and had been sober for seven months when I was questioned by a detective for a crime I committed 10 years before. In a panic, I ran off to Mexico to avoid prosecution, only to learn a few months later that I would not be prosecuted because of the statute of limitations. Chagrined, I returned and turned myself in to serve three months for violating my parole. Two weeks after being released, I was sent back to prison for attending a professional baseball game—and unknowingly violating a parole condition. This time I served six months.

Out on parole for the third time, I attended seven SA meetings the first week, went to confession at my church on Saturday, and attended Mass on Sunday. On Monday, I was arrested by my parole officer for another violation. This time it was because I was near a school. It turned out that a Sunday school class was held in a building adjacent to the church. I was shocked. It seems that I had never fully understood the specific conditions of my parole.

I was processed through the prison system and was scheduled to appear before the parole board, which would decide upon my guilt and length of sentence. Based on my past experience, I was positive that I would be found guilty and would serve one more year in prison. Even the student lawyer assigned to my case believed he had little chance to argue against the violation.

Not knowing what to do, I turned to God in prayer. But this time I did something different. I did not try to bargain with God or beg Him to get me out of the situation, as I had unsuccessfully done so many times before. Instead, I asked that He would be with me no matter what the outcome, and that He would help me to turn to Him and stay with Him throughout the entire ordeal. I didn’t ask for any favors. I just wanted to have a real relationship with God and get to know Him. I asked that He would help me keep this desire and save me from turning away from Him now or in the future.

I entered the parole hearing room with a prayer on my lips. At some point I became aware of the proceedings on two different levels. On one level, I heard the charges read and the commissioner and the lawyer discussing my case. On another level, I became aware of the “hand of God” reaching in to intervene. The words I heard and the conclusions of the commissioner surprised me. He was deciding, for no clear reason, to dismiss the case!

Returning to a holding cell, I was thankful to be in there alone. My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with joy as I fell to my knees and thanked God because He had intervened and I was being set free. But the main reason for my joy was that He had revealed Himself to me. Up to this point in my life I maintained a kernel of doubt as to the existence of God. But after experiencing the living reality of His presence, I was filled with awe. I can hardly describe the wonder and gratitude I felt in that moment.

Looking back on that day, I believe that I was given the precious gift of a spiritual awakening to assist me in finding faith in a God Who can restore me to sanity. I no longer even call it a faith, for today, I know! I now turn to this same God every day to keep me sober and “to build with me and do with me as He wilt.”

Today, I have the precious gift of belief, sobriety, and a daily relationship with a God Who I continue to learn about and take comfort in. I’m learning that, through prayer, meditation, and using the tools of the program, I can grow and change, because God can do for me each day what I have never been able to do for myself. That is, through God I have the power to stay sober and actually change my attitudes, motivations, and behaviors.

Thank you God and thank you SA for guiding me and giving me this new life.