Originally published in ESSAY, 2001, Issue Two, edited

The contract starts by saying “God, I’m checking in.” Then I say the Serenity Prayer and the first three Steps. Next, comes the Third Step prayer. I repeat a line from that prayer until I really mean it — “Relieve me from the bondage of self” still loosens my chest every morning.

After that comes the actual contract: “I commit myself to one more day of sexual sobriety. No sex with myself. No sex with any partner other than my wife from now until _________.” Here I always name the same hour on the next day. This reminds me out loud that my sobriety is a gift only for today.

My contract ends with several explicit acts of surrender. These take the form of “God, I surrender to you my right to ______.” My “rights” have changed over the years from a detailed list of ways I am powerless over lust to broad categories of my disease. Finally, I surrender any fantasies or lust images lingering in my mind. My contract for sobriety ends with the Seventh Step prayer. It takes only three minutes or less to do it. Having had days when I forget to do my contract, I can say it is the most important few minutes for my sobriety and recovery each day.