God could and would if He were sought. (AA 60)

One of the ways I continued in my addiction and acting out was by going to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. (No, that is not a typo!) That was because going to meetings was all I wanted to have to do to stop acting out. I wanted an “easier, softer way.” I wanted to design my own program, and that meant just going to meetings. But, going to meetings didn’t keep me sober.

Reduced down to the most basic statement, God keeps me sober. My surrender to God both in the specific moments and in the practice of working the Steps with a sponsor as a program of recovery, seems to be the “conduit” by which God grants me the gift of sobriety and relief from the obsession and compulsion. My surrender is a conscious choice to connect with God through prayer in the moments of life as they come my way and to turn over to Him my difficulties and my will and my self.

Sometimes in prayer I imagine my open hands, and sometimes I actually get on my knees and reach up with outstretched and open hands; whatever it takes. I surrender, and then surrender again. And God does for me what I cannot do for myself.

God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.