A few weeks ago, I heard someone from my faith tradition tell a story that really resonated with me, and that I have thought about every day since. I shared it at a meeting and it appeared to touch others as well. Therefore, I am very happy to share it with you.
The story is about two neighboring countries. These countries lived side by side in peace, but there was one very clear rule: it was strictly forbidden to transport goods across the border. To make sure of this, there were border guards who strictly controlled everything. One day a man arrived at the border by bicycle. He was carrying a very large bag, which was on the back of his bicycle. The border guards told him that it was not allowed to let this bag cross the border. ‘But there is only sand in it,’ the man said. ‘Sand?’ the border guards asked. They looked at each other. ‘If there is only sand in it, then it can go to our neighboring country. But you understand that we have to check that bag?’ The man certainly understood this. So the border guards took the bag off the bicycle, threw it out and looked it over completely, but indeed, it turned out to contain only sand. Nothing more and nothing less. The border guards were a little uncertain, but allowed the man to cross the border with his bag of sand, because after all, it really couldn’t hurt.
The next day the man was there again, on his bicycle with his bag of sand on top. The border guards checked the bag again from top to bottom, but again could find no hidden objects. The citizen was allowed to cross the border with his bag of sand.
This happened every day, not for weeks, but for months, even up to a year. The border guards did everything they could to find out what the man was hiding: they called in colleagues, they used special radiation equipment, but they could find nothing but plain old sand.
This went on for quite a while, and after about a year the man said to the border guards, ‘Men, I have good news. Tomorrow will be the last time I cross the border, so you won’t have to check on me anymore.’ The border guards were satisfied, but the next morning when this man wanted to cross the border again the border guards decided to ask the man anyway. ‘Why did you bring a bag of sand to our neighboring country every day? Was there something hidden in it that we could not find, despite our ingenious equipment?’ The man replied, ‘No, those were just bags of sand. But in this way I was able to smuggle a new bicycle across the border every day for a year! You were focusing on the wrong thing all the time.’
When I heard the story I became very aware of the fact that I very often make the same mistake as these border guards. I am so focused in my daily life on what is going wrong or bad every day, and not at all on what is going right in my life. I don’t see the beautiful things that are happening right under my nose because I often complain about what is going badly.
A very specific example is what happened yesterday. I had been working from 9am to 6pm, then it was coming home, cooking, eating, washing up, getting my stuff ready for the next working day, a brief contact with my sponsor and attending an online meeting. When this was all over, it was 10pm and I had barely had any relaxation. About that, until a few weeks ago, I would have been mostly complaining, ‘poor me, I can’t relax, my day is so hard’.
Because of that story I can now think differently: I am tired, but I am very happy that I have a job that I love, I have the luxury of cooking a healthy and balanced meal with fresh ingredients, I no longer have to act out but I now have tools: I have a sponsor I can call, I can follow online meetings anywhere in the world and at any time.
I am grateful that people share such stories with me, and I can share them again at meetings and now also through this way with all of you.
Nathalie V., Antwerp, Belgium
