Every morning, whether at home or traveling, I take five to ten minutes to complete my daily readings. Like other rituals for my sobriety, such as a daily contract or gratitude lists, this developed in response to a suggestion from my sponsor.

The readings are one form of surrender to the Twelve Steps and Traditions of Sexaholics Anonymous. They serve as a means of conscious contact with God as I understand Him. My Higher Power allows me to understand what I read only as I am ready. Only daily reading keeps me in regular contact with our literature so that I can be ready to receive corrections to my sexaholic way of thinking.

What is our SA literature? There are four basic pieces: Sexaholics Anonymous (the “White Book”), Recovery Continues, Alcoholics Anonymous (the “Big Book”), and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (“12&12”). I have added the A.A. book As Bill Sees It and the current issue of the Grapevine to my pile. Each day I read two pages (no more, no less) of each book. This takes less than ten minutes and on days with several half-pages to read, perhaps only five.

During my four years in SA I have probably read each book between six and fifteen times. They are still “new” every time I read my two pages. In the months between reading the same sections I have grown and changed in sobriety and recovery. God provides new meanings and layers of meanings even though the words are the same. I misunderstand or corrupt a particular passage all too frequently. This is a side-effect of an ego-centered disease. Also, as time passes, I am more willing to replace old ways of thinking about lust, resentment, money, pride and my other character defects. The readings provide, one day at a time, new images of recovery.

What are some of my favorite passages? “Obstacles to Recovery” and “The Joy Response” are favorites in Recovery Continues. “Overcoming Lust and Temptation” and pages 100 and 133 in the White Book are special helps. I liked the middle paragraph on page 92 of 12&12 so much that I memorized it and have passed it on to many others. I did the same with the top paragraph on page 62 of the AA Big Book and the sentences in the middle of page 98. Finally, every SA in our area reads and re-reads pages 448-452 of the Big Book, because our sponsors tell us to.

I don’t know how I would get through a day without my reading. On some days I have skipped my readings. The result is so uncomfortable that I do most of the readings no matter what. For me, this is part of the progressive victory over lust provided through the grace of my Higher Power and Sexaholics Anonymous.