In clearing away the wreckage of the past in my 15-year marriage, I am successfully using the following format when making amends:

1) “I was wrong when I…”

2) “I can see how you could have felt…” (Here I list at least 5 emotions, which come to me as I put myself in my spouse’s place and ask myself how I would feel if I had been on the receiving end of the abuse.)

3) “I’m deeply sorry.”

4) “I’ll work hard so that it never happens again.”