Frequently my head and my heart think and feel that I am alone. This is especially difficult while being the secretary for an SA meeting of one, here in Fort Bragg, Calif. One Thursday night my Higher Power gave me a gift. It is a tool for revealing loneliness as the deception it is. I use it frequently. I call it the Gratitude Attendance Check.

Its use is very simple. When I reach the point in the meeting format that says, “Let’s take a moment to introduce ourselves,” I close my eyes and conjure the names and faces of the people I’ve met at meetings and conferences. In my mind I thank them for coming, make eye contact, and smile. What had been a room where I could hear the echo of my breath is, within only a few minutes, cozy, warm, and standing room only.

It is fitting that my imagination, so long conscripted into service to my sex addiction, is now a channel for love and friendship. For a little extra fun, I like to call up a few people after the meeting and let them know where they were. We have a good laugh as we talk about recovery and my head and my heart begin to understand that I am not alone.