Holidays

Well, it happened again. I sat waiting in the parking lot because the person who has the key did not show up. Perhaps someone has decided that, since this was a holiday, everyone would be busy with family and would not get to a meeting. I did not get that message.

Let’s think about that idea. First, some of us don’t have family and are looking for a place to go. SA is my family. I have many friends here and we do have fellowship outside of meetings. I want to see my friends on holidays.

Second, I heard a friend say recently that his family installed his buttons and therefore they know how to push them. What better time for a meeting than right after a heavy dose of family? What better time to unwind and get rid of some of the feelings that have come up?

Third, my disease works overtime on holidays. These are some of the times that I have expectations that are not fulfilled, or I feel anxious about the time I’ll be spending with certain people. Holidays are the times that I need meetings the most!

So what do I do? I plan my day so that I can get to a meeting. If I am hosting a dinner, we eat early so that I can get to a meeting. If others from the program are at the meal, we do not have a meeting there but go to the planned meeting site so we do not exclude anyone. If I have an invitation, I let my host know that I will be leaving at a certain time because I have a “previous commitment.”

I’m very grateful to the SA fellowship for my 20 years of sobriety. But even after all those years, I still go to any length to keep my sobriety. If I go to a New Year’s Eve meeting, I can still go to a party later. If I go to a Christmas Eve meeting, I can still to a church service later. Meetings, meetings, meetings!

For this sexaholic, face-to-face meetings are crucial to my sobriety. So I need to figure out how to get to one, even on a holiday. I always found a way to act out, so I need to find a way to make a meeting on a holiday!

Maybe in the future, if I learn that a meeting place is going to be closed, I can find another location, send an e-mail announcement to the group, and then put up a sign at the original site for anyone who didn’t get the message. That way others like me will be able to find a meeting.

Hope to see you there!

Anonymous

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