Recently, I volunteered to lead a meeting in my home group on the topic of Tradition One. I felt quite confident of my ability to explain the Tradition. After all, I’ve been sober in SA for six years (I’m a member of another Twelve-Step fellowship)—and I can recite the Traditions by heart! But in preparing for the meeting, I came across a list of Tradition One Questions from AA Grapevine that caused me to take a closer look at my own behaviors: how I behave as a group member, as a husband, and as I do service work. And much to my chagrin, I discovered many areas where improvement is still needed in my life.

For me, recovery is more than just sobriety; that is, not sexually acting out or not lusting. It’s about addressing all the character defects in my life that still cause me problems. And if I’m not actively pursuing their correction or elimination, it’s easy for me to become resentful, and resentment “is said to be the number one killer of addicts” (SA 51). As I reviewed the list of questions, I became painfully aware of defects that are still active in my life. For example, I all too often gossip and take others’ inventories, and I’m not always seen as a peacemaker. In order to get my way I can be abrasive (more than I care to admit!), and sometimes I will tout my length of sobriety as a way to get my way. All too often I am not as considerate of other members as I want them to be of me. And (I really hate to admit this) sometimes I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and justifying behavior that bristles with hostility. Even though at times I have been a peacemaker or considerate and gentle with others, I still have a lot of work to do in those areas.

I must continuously ask myself: is it “Our Common Welfare” or “My Common Welfare” that is most operative in my life? In fact, it might be helpful for me to review all Twelve Traditions to see where I stand.