I came to SA in September 2005, when I realized I was hooked on Internet pornography, and I’ve been sober since that day. Before then, I thought I could stop on my own. I actually could stop for several days on my own willpower, but then I would binge on lust for days afterward and my obsession would increase. Tolerance to the content of the indulgence kept me searching for more new material. I was not getting better. I was getting worse. My life was out of control.

I was not happy. The value I put on my life decreased as I put a higher value on acting out. I put my addiction where my Higher Power should have been. I was insisting on my “Right to Myself.” I was becoming suicidal. Finally, I made a decision to get help. I found an SA meeting, went to my first meeting, heard people share about their addiction to lust, and made a decision to come back. Why did I wait so long?

Now, many years and many meetings later, I have become better able to surrender lust when It appears. I don’t believe I will ever become completely well, but I’m getting better. And as I get further away from indulging lust, I feel more happy and free.

Will I ever be completely free from temptations? Probably not. But I if I pay attention to my inner attitudes and thinking and don’t feed the triggers within me, I will be better able to let temptations pass me by. All of this is by the grace of my Higher Power, to whom I surrender my temptations and character defects on an ongoing basis.

Being sober is a simple condition, but it is not easy to maintain. Following are some things that I do that help me support my decision to be sober.

1. Have an attitude of gratitude. Every evening before retiring I make a list of the things that happened that day for which I’m grateful—and I find so many things that I often forget the problems I experienced that day. The list helps me to remember what is most important in my life.

2. Accept life on life’s terms. I’m constantly learning to develop an attitude of acceptance. This is more challenging than gratitude because acceptance requires me to trust in my Higher Power that things will get better. This is often hard for me to believe, but listening to the sharing at meetings and surrendering temptations helps me grow in trust and acceptance of my condition.

3. Go to meetings. I attend two to four meetings a week. I need to participate in the fellowship of the program to keep me on track.

4. Make phone calls. I call my sponsor as I work the Steps and surrender temptations and character defects. When he’s not available, I call someone else. A weekly phone call to a friend in the program has been valuable for me. I don’t hide anything. I cannot hide my desires and expect to be well.

5. Have a sponsor. I’ve always had a sponsor since I entered the program. I like the practice of being accountable to someone for my behavior. I also offer to sponsor newcomers. Talking to sponsees doubles the conversations that I have with people in the program. As I listen I hear new ideas. I receive back from others what I freely give away.

6. Trust in God. The most important component in my program is the one I tend to forget about: trust in my Higher Power. Too often, I turn to Him only after I’ve tried unsuccessfully to deal with life on my own terms. Now I’m learning to trust Him with the whole lot: my sobriety, my dreams, my hopes, and my final end.

I’ve come to realize that there is no one magic action that keeps me sober. But I have tools to use when lust knocks at the door, and working the SA program has given me hope, some serenity, and a reasonably happy life.