I would like to share my recent experience in using the Serenity Prayer (SA 95). I’ve been sober in SA since October 2008, and have done lots of service work. But recently I was faced with one of the most challenging business decisions of my 30+ year career. An employee whom I have known for 20 years did something which, in our company, is grounds for dismissal. The problem was that he is a personal friend—a wonderful human being with whom I had worked closely for more than two years.

I was troubled at a deep level. I was concerned for my friend and his family. Plus, who was I not to forgive? God and my wife each gave me a second chance. Who was I not to give this man a second chance? I struggled with this internal battle in my deepest inner self. I sought wisdom from my pastor and a mentor, both of whom know of my addiction.

But in the end, it was the Serenity Prayer that helped me find my peace around this event. The nature of the transgression required that the employee be removed from his position immediately. This all happened rather quickly. Once I had my facts, I knew that I would have to fire him the next day.

That night before going to sleep I asked God in my prayers to help me accept the responsibility for what I needed to do. The next morning after awakening, I dozed on and off for a while. Often when this happens, I am in various stages of prayer. During my first few years of recovery, I quite often recited the Serenity Prayer during this time. So once I got up that morning, I started to journal about the situation—hoping to find some level of peace. Following is what I came up with:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
I had been trying for more than six months to try to correct this man’s work shortcomings, because they affected his job performance. I had done what I could, but the situation only got worse. The fact was that trust was broken in my workplace. I could not change that.

Courage to change the things I can…
In looking for alternatives, I sought the wise counsel of others. I did not act rashly, did not act with cruelty or malice, searched my heart and soul, and sought God’s will on this difficult decision. I faced the issues and weighed the alternatives. Doing nothing would have benefited no one, not even the employee. I’m sure I could not have faced this in the same way prior to recovery.

And wisdom to know the difference…
Immediately after writing things down in this format and applying the Serenity Prayer, I felt more at peace with what had to happen. Yes, delivering this news was absolutely the worst human interaction I have had since my wife found out about my addiction. I pray no one ever has to do this. I was effectively an executioner.

My heart ached and my emotions were close to the surface. Previously, I would have simply locked my emotions away as part of my dual secret life. This time, while my heart was heavy for days afterwards, I never questioned my feelings. I was much more at peace than I expected. For a person who had fear of confrontation as a huge character defect in my Step Four, the program has brought me a long way. I’m grateful for our fellowship.

Thy will, not mine, be done.
God already knew how this would play out. He always does. He has continued to use me for His will and I will forever be grateful for this undeserved gift. I did my absolute best to deliver the bad news clearly and honestly, with a humble, caring heart. I prayed for God’s presence—as well as for the employee—before and during the actual time.

Perhaps this exercise will be helpful to others who might be facing some of life’s challenges. I know I will be using it again in the future.