These days seem so hard at times; I keep looking for a text that will never come, a phone call that will never be made. I miss the smile and laughter I once heard and the kindness I once felt. I find loneliness is a reality and missing my soul mate has become the hardest thing my life has come against yet.

Still through all of this my hope is not gone. My desire to help others is still present, and God’s need for me to remain is evidence that I am not done in this place yet. For there have been days I prayed to die, for so many have gone before me now and I find myself missing them so much.

I cannot mend a broken heart nor find a replacement. I am unable to shut the door and open another. Yes, sometimes even the darkness needs light upon it to show its worthiness. I do not know what lies ahead nor do I seek to change what has been already.

My life is an open book. It has been read and shared, the pages are torn, and there is slight wear on the outside. Yet, it remains. It shows it has been used many times from its wear and tear; yet it continues on and is read daily. For, until I am called to surrender my soul, I will do what I can for those still remaining with love and kindness.