There is no magic involved in staying sober. It is not a do-it-once-and-get-it-over kind of job. There is daily Grace and Help from our Higher Power, the benefits of working a program in the SA Fellowship, and “one-day-at-a-time” honesty, openness and attention. I have to pay attention to what I am thinking and doing; we have no vacation from sobriety work! Here are some practices I have found helpful over the years.

Relationship with my Higher Power. I tried and failed for years to get sober on my own. I needed to let go of my will and surrender to my Higher Power. I am “Not God!” My relationship with my Higher Power must be 24/7.

Sponsor. This is number two. I need to keep my life in the open and reveal my thinking and my temptations to my sponsor. My sponsor gives me important feedback so that I don’t deceive myself with rationalized behaviors and with objective advice and encouragement.

Committed phone calls. I make phone calls when I am struggling, before I indulge lust, along with scheduled phone calls, which help keep my life in the light.

Regular meetings. I listen to members share their struggles and identify with them. I do not feel isolated then, and I hear what is working in their lives and what does not work. Listening to newcomers share is equally beneficial to me.

Sponsees. After several years, some members began asking me to sponsor them. I did this gratefully. Twelfth Step work helps them and is essential to me too. It keeps me on my toes.

Emotional sobriety. This means that I am not a “dry drunk” on lust. Emotional sobriety means that I am letting go of resentments. I am being serious about working all of my Steps, but especially the daily ones, Steps 10, 11 and 12. I am not the center of the stage. I need to adopt humility, an attitude of gratitude and kindness.

SA Literature. There are a lot of books that are published by SA. Some of the stories are similar to my experience, but all of them deal with the same addiction to lust that I have. The quarterly journal, Essay, is now offered for free online at the SA website.

Conferences and Retreats. I return from these meetings very encouraged and excited about my program. This is no sad program that we take up. There is a lot of sobriety in the membership, and hope is always in evidence at these meetings. SA works. There is abundant evidence of this and I see it at these retreats.

Attitude of Gratitude. This is a spiritual program that saves my life. When I review my day and make a list of things for which I am grateful, I have a good life; my cup is “half full, not half empty.” In every day, good or bad, there are things to be grateful for. Service to others and daily gratitude can lift me up out of the pits.

Attentiveness. This means that I had better pay attention to the moment.

• What am I thinking? Are my thoughts leading toward lust, past guilt, or future fear? My Higher Power is with me in the present and this is where I need to be.

• Quick prayer. When a lust hit comes, do I surrender it or toy with it? A simple prayer works, like “God have mercy on me!” or “God, I surrender this lust hit to You.” I repeat the prayer until lust leaves.

• Quick phone call. In some situations, a quick phone call or a text to a friend in the fellowship will help bring the temptation to light, and I can more easily surrender the lust hit.

• Attend a meeting soon. When I feel more susceptible to lust hits, I attend a meeting soon thereafter. I seek balance in my living and an extra meeting/phone call/reading can restore that balance.

• Keep up my spiritual life. Honesty with my Higher Power through daily prayer is very helpful. Intercessions, centering or contemplative prayer, “inner work” with a spiritual director, nightly gratitude lists, singing and worship are all good practices, and they help with emotional sobriety.

• Maintaining friendships. It takes work to keep up healthy family relationships and friendships, but it is worth it. I find that loneliness is a big trigger for me, so that having friends who will provide encouragement and affection is very important.

• Maintaining hobbies. Likewise, I find that hobbies which engage my mind and my emotions are very healthy alternatives to lust. It gives me an outlet that I can get excited about. Playing a musical instrument or bird watching takes my mind off of negative things and temptations. A good hobby can take me into nature, or among people who represent a safe environment.