To the Essay:
After six years of continuous struggle in Sexaholics Anonymous, my Higher Power granted me the gift of sobriety. My sobriety date is the 5 September 1993.
In retrospect, there were three concepts, obstacles that were beyond my resources, but not beyond my Higher Power’s Grace:
1: How to sit with pain.
2: To understand that recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
3: I could not “think” my way into solving the answers to sobriety. This is a dis-ease of the emotions, not the intellect.
To reach the point of surrender that was needed, I truly believed I would never achieve sobriety. With great sorrow, I embraced defeat. Roy K. wrote “I simply knew I had to stop, no matter what the cost.” The night before the gift of sobriety, AA co-founder Bill W. cried out “In agony of spirit, in helplessness and desperation, I’ll do anything at all.”
I knew I would never be sober. But, if I could have tomorrow a Higher Power-centered day and be of some small service to another suffering sexaholic, even if I acted out the following day, I would humbly offer that one day to my Higher Power.
I did not share during a meeting for six months. I listened with an intensity that was God given. During that sixth month I realized I was given the gift of sobriety. I am a sexaholic. I was a sociopath — a very low bottom street sex drunk. I have known jail (multiple petty larcenies), psych-hospitals, and a previous lifetime of failures. But I now know “amazing Grace, that has saved a wretch like me.”
Bob H., Virginia, USA
From the Essay cover artist:
For this cover, as an avid traveler and SA meeting maker, I loved the theme SA and Travel. For the cover, I gathered SA reading material with a vintage map as the backdrop and a vintage suitcase I’ve used to travel with to embellish Traveling & SA Recovery. The back cover continues this old travelers map theme as a backdrop to our precious serenity prayer. Within the steps and traditions, a photograph of a road trip is displayed, the intent was to show what might be the safest form of traveling at the moment.
Christian M.
