The Searchlight of the Spirit

A letter from Roy K. to the General Delegate Assembly in July, 2009
(from Essay, September 2009)

When I was asked if I wanted to share anything with the GDA, I thought about it and welcomed the opportunity. First, I love this very special fellowship of the Spirit, which on the personal relationship level can go deep as we “bear one another’s burdens” and so fulfill the law of love. Thank you!

As far as my health is concerned, I am still being treated for a very aggressive cancer. We don’t know the outcome. The results are in God’s hands. Never has “One day at a time” meant so much. The joyous victory in this trial is that the One who broke through to me in lust recovery years ago keeps me sober one fear and uncertainty at a time. It’s a whole new program, and I’m asking that I not miss the blessing that’s on the other side of this.

This personal trial for me is not unlike many we have encountered in the history of SA itself and will doubtless continue to encounter. The unique need and promise of our recovery—deliverance from the power of lust in all its forms—makes our “impossible” principles a tempting target for compromise or questioning, especially from within SA itself. Long before cancer actually appears, the body’s cells can start going haywire if our immune system has been degraded. The immune system for Sexaholics Anonymous is our Twelve Traditions. Though they were discovered in the crucible of AA’s experience, we find that we are continually tempted to disregard some early warning immune degradation indicators. Traditions One, Three, and Twelve knock us in the head periodically to try to get our attention. That’s how we’re learning their truth for ourselves! The hard way. So I challenge you to continue discovering together the deep import and relevance of SA Traditions.

What constitutes SA unity, and why does personal recovery depend upon it? What are the implications of our requirement for membership—“the desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober”? What constitutes sexual sobriety, and what constitutes lust recovery? And how may we unwittingly be putting personalities before principle? How does all this tie in together? Yes, we’re being tested here in all three. Let us examine ourselves honestly and often in the searchlight of the spirit of these time tested realities.

Therefore stand on principle. Stay true to our historic and unique calling. Yes, it is unique. And don’t be afraid of voices that would try to make this an “easier” program. I love this fellowship—with the whole history of its problems and adversity. God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Above all, let us be ready to offer, through our own personal lust recovery testimonies, what increasing thousands will need and seek. And above all, let us love one another in the truth.

I believe a new beginning awaits us as we discover the impossible reality of lust recovery under God and humble ourselves before Him so he can pour out his blessing on those who suffer. I thank you for your lives and service. May God bless you all.

Roy K., 1917-2009

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