Keeping Away From The Edge

I used to rock climb. I mean the big mountains, like the Grand Teton in Wyoming, 13,775 feet tall. These experiences taught me some valuable lessons. When I climbed the big mountains, I never climbed alone; I was always roped together with a friend as we climbed over dangerous areas. Can I apply this lesson to my lust addiction? You bet.

Never Climb Alone. When I found myself addicted to pornography, I tried for four years by myself to stop. I made all kinds of resolutions, promises, and self-imposed boundaries, to no avail. The amount of time I spent on the addiction grew, and the content became more and more bizarre. On my own, I was in trouble. As a birthday present I downloaded a filter on my computer. Two weeks later, I attended my first SA meeting and came away with a sponsor.

Use a Safety Line. No longer do I try to fight addiction on my own. I check in regularly with members in the SA fellowship. I go to three meetings a week and do service work. I am not climbing the mountain of recovery alone, and my Higher Power is with me 24/7. Prayer is my first response, “My God (Higher Power), I can’t handle this. I trust You. Help me.” I use short prayers of petition, and longer prayers and meditation to develop the relationship. I am not alone. I have a safety line to keep me from falling.

Keeping Away From the Edge. Today I no longer rock climb, but I am alert when I approach the edge of a height. Similarly, I am alert to my emotional state as I work my SA program. If I am carrying resentments, or if I am angry or fearful without cause, then I am not emotionally sober. I have noticed that there is a strong correlation between my emotional sobriety and the ease with which I surrender lust temptations. These days, when I am upset emotionally, I will try to work a Step One, Two, Three with the precipitating cause. If I can’t seem to get peace and surrender the emotion, I call my sponsor or friend in the program. I call this, “Keeping away from the edge.”

Addressing the emotion, accepting it and then surrendering it to my Higher Power brings me back to peace of mind. I can handle temptations so much better when I am confident, unafraid, hopeful and at peace with the world.

SA is a practical program; it matches well with life’s lessons.

Anonymous, Missouri, USA

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