Have you ever known something—then you didn’t? Have you ever believed it—then you didn’t? Have you had faith and lost it? I have. I was a student, teacher, preacher and leader. I knew the Bible inside and out. I had faith that my God was real. I believed it with all my heart. However, I had a secret. That secret was my addiction. This addiction ate at my core. It was so easy to hide, until I couldn’t. My faith was strong, until it wasn’t. Once my secret life came to light, my religious life couldn’t support me any longer. My religious background and beliefs failed me.
I have been in and out of recovery since 2001. I have gone through many phases of religiosity and spirituality through this time. The one thing I could never do was reconcile the two. I never fully took Step 2. This time in sobriety I have completely surrendered to Step 2. I had to drop all my religious beliefs and go a different route. Too many of my friends in this program drop out and never find sobriety because they can’t get past their old beliefs. I didn’t want to be one of them.
I now am a student of those that have gone before me. I heard oldtimer, Jesse L., say that “spirituality is not a part of the program, spirituality IS the program.” I remember reading the following statement: “The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” (AA 85)
What is spirituality? The word spiritual is derived from the Latin word spiritus which means breath. The ancients believed that breathing connected us to God. In essence, to breathe is to be spiritual. My sponsor tells me to “breathe out fear and breathe in God.” This is breathing connecting me to God.
In 1995 at an SA conference old timer Lee T. shared “4 Spiritual Minimums.” This is a simple way to reconcile my program and my spirituality. Here they are summarized:
1– Sobriety: Sobriety is the foundation. Without sobriety, we cannot have recovery. We also cannot have a spiritual connection to a power greater than ourselves. Lust and diseased thinking leave no room for an intimate connection with God.
2 – Meetings: Spiritual movements revolve around meeting with those that share a common interest. Attending meetings is an act of surrender connecting us with others struggling with the same problem. It also connects us with others who have gone before us. Meetings connect us with those we may help.
3 – Sponsorship: We must have a sponsor. Part of surrender is to call the sponsor EVERY day. A second part of surrender is asking for help and doing what is suggested. Your sponsor can guide you through this spiritual program. We also need to become a sponsor. If you have a sponsor and have sponsees that are calling you then you will be anchored in a safe spot.
4 – Time: There is no substitute for longevity. We live one day at a time. However, we learn from those that have put together the most days in a row! The longer we have sobriety, and the more meetings we attend, the more attractive we are to those we may sponsor.
Spirituality is developed from the rituals I incorporate into my lives. These include: praying daily, meditating daily, talking to my sponsor daily, Tenth Step at night daily, and praying over the Tenth Step daily. Contact me and I can share the 1995 Lee T. recording with you. Preston_Davis@outlook.com
Preston D., USA