Step Two and “Plan A”

The Central California subregion held a Step workshop in Sacramento, conducted by a sponsor & sponsee on a Step. After being assigned to share on Step 2, I found out that neither my own sponsor nor any of my sponsees were available to attend. I contacted a member I’ve been sponsoring in prison, asking him if he would prayerfully consider partnering with me as a “speaker.”

The day of the Conference, I sat down at the presentation table in front of the other attendees, and placed my bag on the empty chair next to me. “My name is Brian Z. and I’m a sexaholic. And though you don’t see him, my sponsee Tyler, is here with us.” His letter [see below] on Step 2 arrived the day before.

Seeing how gracefully this unfolded has led me to believe that this was my Higher Power’s “Plan A” from the very beginning. The bars of a prison 1600 miles away couldn’t keep Tyler from participating.

“My Thoughts on Step Two Today”

As a sexaholic, I have always relied on myself, my own power, and my own wisdom. I’ve played the role of God in both my life, and the lives of those around me. I’ve lived a double life for many years.

Step One allowed my pride to be broken down, so the door to humility could be opened, but Step Two would require a genuine act of faith, believing that God really could bring the process of recovery to fruition in my life.

When I made God my higher power and trusted that He could restore my brokenness, He opened the cell door and began removing the chains that had bound me for so long. Little by little, I began to see real life outside of my disease.

Step 2 opened the door to new life and perspective, which allowed me to see that I am valuable, I am loved, I am worth God’s time, and He cared enough to give me the 12 Steps that would eventually lead me back to Him. Step 2 challenged me to believe that the destruction caused by sexual addiction over so many years could still be redeemed.

God has used SA to lead me out of a life of hiding and into the light, He has granted me a clean slate in life, and gives me the courage I need to face myself.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from Step 2 is how to live a spiritual life. Step 2 allowed for me to see more clearly who God really is.

I saw God as strict, distant, or absent altogether, and in no way interested in dirty old me. Now I see the truth. I see a bigger picture, which has always existed, but I couldn’t see, until faith became my sight.

Step 2 has sent me on a journey of discovery, and I’ve seen that my higher power is in fact reliable in times of need. He guides my steps, and He gives assistance & direction freely through the tools of SA.

Since being restored to sanity, I’ve seen so many changes in my life I never thought I’d have the capacity to accomplish. I’m able to better focus on work & studies, I’ve learned how to process my thoughts, emotions, & painful memories. I can now allow myself to feel and I’ve become more sensitive.

I’ve become less of a know-it-all. Before SA, I was so controlling that I wouldn’t even let someone else drive. I’m no longer the god in my life; I have a power greater than myself.

I am so blessed to have been able to share with you; it’s an honor that God would use me to carry the message both inside & outside prison walls.

One last thought: my higher power allowed me to come to prison to find Him. I came to prison and found freedom. Without SAs being faithful to carrying the message, I would likely still be lost. Thank you for your obedience to your higher power.

Blessings to you all!

Pen-To-Paper Step Writing Format

(If there is no correspondence:) We will spend the next 15 minutes writing and have the opportunity to share it with the group. We use the Conference-approved CFC Step Packet to guide our writing, but you are free to make use of other SA resources. If you would like a copy of the CFC Step Packet, you may either download a PDF from our website, or see me after the meeting. Step work usually corresponds to the “Step of the Month,” as we aim to work through all 12 Steps during the year, but you are free to work on any of the other Steps. (A scheduled volunteer reader)_____ has volunteered to kick off our writing session with a brief reading on this month’s step from Conference-approved SA literature, so I’ll now turn the meeting over to him/her.

(After the reading) Thank you. 15 minutes from now, if you so desire, there will be an opportunity to share what you’ve written, or about what you’ve written. Will someone please volunteer to keep time? (Pause for writing.)

Prisoner Correspondence Format

(If there is correspondence:) We will now read a letter from a member who is incarcerated, and carry the SA message of recovery to him/her by sending our written shares through the prisoner’s sponsor. Letters from prisoners often relate to their Step work with their sponsor. Reading the correspondence at this meeting permits the prisoner & our Fellowship to share the message of Recovery with each other. If you are interested in sponsoring an incarcerated member, please see me after the meeting. I will now turn the meeting over to _____ (the prisoner’s sponsor, who reads the letter aloud, and explains any necessary context).

(After the reading is completed…) We will now take the next 15 minutes to write back to the prisoner, sharing how we have worked the Steps and continue to put the principles into action in all areas of our lives. Leading with our weakness, we share our experience, strength, & hope, with an emphasis on honesty, recovery, & healing. We avoid topics that can lead to dissension or distraction, as well as explicit sexual descriptions and sexually abusive language. With the exception of a 1st Step Letter, we avoid cross-talk to the prisoner by refraining from making a direct reference to anything shared in his/her letter, giving him/her the same benefit we have of sharing in a group setting without fear of criticism or judgment. If you want to refer to something that was written, please do so only in terms of your own experience. 15 minutes from now, there will be an opportunity to share what you’ve written, if you so desire. Will someone please volunteer to keep time? (Pause for writing.)