My Higher Power Is Here In This Program

I am a recovering sexaholic, since May 25, 2019, working the Steps with a sponsor. I thank my Higher Power, as I conceive it, for being a sexaholic and seeing my multitude of character defects that help me stay in Sexaholics Anonymous.

When I arrived in SA, my challenge was that I did not believe in anything or anyone. I had been serving for 25 years in my religion, which had been the most beautiful time of my life. I will never regret living this experience full of love, service, and self-surrender.

When I left that religion my soul was shattered and my life had no direction. I fell into the depths of the abyss of lust, in all its manifestations, making my existence more miserable. After suffering with suicidal wishes and without believing in anything or anyone, surfing the net between tears and contempt for myself, I found SA.

While reading everything on the SA website, more fears welled up inside me. What people are these who insist that I talk with them, that I share in groups? Horrified because someone was giving me their hand with no self-interest, I did not believe that such people existed on this earth. For me it was impossible.

Entering the deep waters of Sexaholics Anonymous, I was stunned by the unconditional love of the beloved fraternity that received me regardless of my past, my condition, my age, my way of thinking. I was totally in love with them. I started my process of redemption. Each minute and every second that I heard them share of themselves, that I read the literature, that I was in the face-to-face and virtual conventions, I felt my beloved Higher Power as he showed himself to me. With so many ways of seeing a Higher Power in this temporal space, I knew there had to be a place where all were equal and loved each other without limits.

My Higher Power is here in this program. I love being a sexaholic. I thank my Higher Power for his mercy towards me and for bringing me to SA. Here, day by day, minute by minute, I rebuild a new life of change from destructive addictive behaviors. I’ve learned to love a girl inside of me who I did not know. Dear beloved and respected fellows, we will meet in happy destiny.

A sexaholic in recovery, totally in love with my Higher Power in SA,

Lucia A., Colombia

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