White Plains, NY

At a recent meeting in White Plains we had a special meeting on sponsorship. We changed the format and made it an “open” meeting with feedback allowed. We broke the meeting up into fifteen-minute segments.

In the first part, a seven-minute tape from Roy K. was played. Some of Roy’s comments: A sponsor is a person who guides us through the Steps; sponsorship is a human interaction; sponsorship helps us to get out of isolation; a sponsor should be ahead of the sponsee in the Steps, preferably having finished their Fourth and Fifth.

Some of our reactions to the tape:

• One person referred to the recent article in the Essay, “Thoughts on Dealing with Chronic Slippers,” and said “sponsorship is informal—not legalistic. Instead of only one person as a sponsor, I can draw on the experience of several people.”
• “Having a sponsor injects a sense of accountability.”

In the second part, the question was posed: “If you presently have a sponsor, what is this doing for your program?”

• “It calls me to be accountable to that person for my actions.”
• “I can have honest sharing with another person who understands me.”
• “It is a humbling experience.”
• “Empathy enters in.”
• “If I can’t find one person, the option of co-sponsoring and using other people is helpful.”

In the third part, the question was asked: “If you presently do not have a sponsor, why not?”

• “Lack of sponsors.”
• “Discomfort in relationships.”
• “I don’t like too many demands made by sponsors.”
• “It took me a long time to find a person who had more sobriety than I had.”
• “I’m afraid to ask someone and I don’t really want to be accountable.”
• “I can’t find the ‘perfect fit.’”

In the last part, the question was: “If you have quality sobriety, why aren’t you sponsoring?”

• “I already have three sponsees and I feel that’s all I can handle.”
• “I’m not finished with my Fourth and Fifth Steps, so I don’t think I’m far enough along in my program.”

We finished the meeting by returning to our regular format.