I can hardly believe that I have been in SA for an entire year. More unbelievable is that I have been sober the entire time. My sponsor always reminds me that it is truly a miracle. My sponsor is right; it is truly a miracle.

It has been a very full year for me. I am confronting emotional issues that I have managed to avoid even during the four preceding years while I was working another Program. I see and feel that slowly I am changing. My sponsors and other Program people tell me this. The absolute proof for me is that the people around me are responding to the changes. My life is getting shaken-up, which does not necessarily please me. Things are happening that, before Program, I would have gone to any lengths to avoid. Now I am willing to go to any length for my recovery. Still, change is hard for me. My unhealthy thinking wants immediate results and when I don’t get it, I want to medicate my pain.

I work a strong Program and have built relationships so that I have them to fall back on when I’m in trouble. My process keeps bringing me back to a place of surrender. I control my actions, God controls their outcome. I need to be reminded of that often. It’s amazing to me that I can keep forgetting such a clear reality. The God of my understanding is always there running the universe, but often I need a human voice to carry His message to me. Thank God that He sent me to Program and helps me to work it in good times and bad.