Being born in August and growing up near the ocean, it was natural for my family to celebrate my birthday each year at one of the nearby beaches. After a day of living it up, I would come back burned to a crisp and covered with lesions given me by the local stingrays (well, okay, they were only jellyfish, but being an addict I tend toward the dramatic). The next day, I would scream and holler that I never wanted to go back to the beach for my birthday ever again! Predictably, the next summer I would plead with my family to do it once more, even after the summer I nearly drowned in the undercurrents. What craziness!

Only recently have I made any connection between my juvenile birthday behavior and my (equally juvenile) addictive behaviors in adult years. Despite being ‘burned’ and ‘stung’ repeatedly in my acting out, and almost ‘drowning’ in the muck created by my addiction, I was always ready to do it again next time. What craziness!

Eventually, as I grew up physically, I began to realize that celebrating my birthday at the beach was not my brightest idea. As an adult, I rarely go to the beach for any occasion, preferring the serene, refreshing lakes of the mountains instead. No blistering sun, no stinging jellyfish, no treacherous undercurrents. That I can handle.

Likewise, as I have begun to grow up emotionally and spiritually, I am realizing that the years spent in my active addiction were fraught with dangers far greater than the sun’s rays, the jellyfish venom, or the deadly tides of the ocean. Dangers like the blinding ‘rays’ of pornographic images, the poisonous ‘venom’ of diseases, and the deadly ‘undertow’ of time and energy lost pursuing something that kills the spirit, if not the body. I am learning to value the refreshing serenity of life on ‘Recovery Mountain.’ I can definitely handle that!

Beach or mountain?
Addiction or recovery?
Death or life?
For me, it’s a no-brainer!