Gifts of Love

I just got back from the SA International Convention in Maryland and it was wonderful! But it didn’t start out that way.

My weekend started with a meltdown Friday night, when I felt lonely and afraid. I was starting a newer, cleaner form of abstinence with food (my primary addiction). I knew no one, including the SA man who was willing to give me a ride across three states to the conference. I attended two meetings Friday, including one on isolation, then went up to my room, binged on room service, and decided to abandon my food program while at the convention. My sponsor disagreed with my decision.

Saturday morning in a women’s meeting, I started off my share leading with my weakness, explaining what I had done the night before. I was surrounded by gifts of love and understanding after the meeting and throughout the day. I met some wonderful women and men there.

I received many other gifts, like hearing Roy K. speak twice, writing my Fourth Step inventory in a workshop, meeting a woman I’ve known through a phone meeting and hearing her tell her amazing story, and laughing really hard and loud at the entertainment Saturday night!! My first SA conference was in Greensboro in January 2007, but I had a very different experience in Maryland. This time I feel I truly embraced the program and the fellowship.

On the plane ride home, a man was seated next to me, talking on the phone when I first boarded. Then he dozed through most of the flight. For some reason, I felt a familiar feeling about him, reminding me of one of my old flames whom I hadn’t thought about in ages. It felt odd to me that, without any contact with the guy next to me, I felt this familiarity.

To my amazement, about two-thirds of the way through the trip, I saw a book on his lap, Lust Virus, written by Roy K., which I had just learned about in Roy’s talk that morning! What a God-wink that I was sitting right next to a fellow SA member. So when he awoke, I tapped him on the arm and showed him my conference name badge, and from that point on, we talked about the conference and program for the rest of the flight!

What incredible gifts I got to bring home! I am blown away by my disease and lust, and in a much different way, by this fellowship, the program, and my Higher Power, Who guides me when I surrender to His grace and to the program. I also see it is my responsibility, as part of service, that I participate more fully in this program, to ensure that it remains strong and is always here for the newcomer and those of us in need!

In gratitude and service,

Jill

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