During the July 2009 meeting of the General Delegate Assembly (GDA) in Denver, two special letters were read.
First, I introduced a letter (intended to be from the fellowship), expressing gratitude to our founder, Roy K., for his many years of service to SA, for carrying the SA message of lust recovery throughout the world, and for his experience, strength, and hope. After I read this “Resolution of Appreciation,” the GDA approved it as the sentiment of the fellowship to be delivered to Roy. The resolution was signed by the Delegates, Alternate Delegates, and Trustees. Our Southwest Regional Delegate, Mike S., took the Resolution home with him and delivered it to Roy.
Unbeknownst to me, Mike had also brought a letter to share. The letter was from Roy. In his letter, Roy expressed his gratitude to the fellowship for the support he has felt through the years and for our prayers and support during his current illness. He also exhorted us to stay true to our principles, to look into ourselves, and to meet the challenges of the present and future in a spirit of unity. This was quite an emotional moment for me. Neither Mike nor I had known of the other’s letter beforehand.
The GDA voted to share both letters with the fellowship in the September ESSAY. We also read them to the convention attendees, who warmly applauded them. The letters are presented here for your encouragement.
Mike is now the newly elected Chair of the GDA. I feel comforted and blessed to pass the baton of service over to him.
Larry H., outgoing GDA Chair
Resolution of Appreciation for the Life and Work of Roy K.
Roy, this resolution of appreciation from the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous to you is long overdue.
It is a humble attempt on the part of the General Delegate Assembly, as servants of SA, to put into words our sincere gratitude for your life and work on behalf of our Fellowship.
Every day this gratitude is observed and expressed at SA meetings around the world, on five continents, in many languages.
It is observed in the lives of men and women newly sober from sex and lust addiction through the Program of Sexaholics Anonymous. It is evident in families reunited under God and in newfound spiritual union between husbands and wives. It is expressed in the letters of prisoners and seen on the faces of new members.
We are aware that for years you were the only “other” who had gone before us, walking the walk of sexual sobriety and lust recovery. In a world where most people are in denial and some are openly hostile to this message, you carried that message of hope with great courage, quiet resolution and an unshakable faith in a loving God. In all your difficulties, your only prayer was for God’s guidance in your efforts to reach others.
In seeking to create the fellowship you craved, you drew from the experiences of people who had overcome similar hopeless states of addiction. In a spirit of gratitude, you got a sponsor in AA and worked the Twelve Steps. You sought the prayerful input of others at every turn. You drew from the group conscience, growing from the inside out, one member and one group at a time.
You used the principle of our Tenth Step—consistently taking your own inventory and promptly admitting when you were wrong—to bring healing to your marriage and your family. You cheerfully put this principle into practice in all your relations with your fellow sexaholics.
We thank you for documenting with great care and conviction what you and the early members of SA learned as you walked the path of recovery, and for sharing this literature freely with all who sought sexual sobriety. Today this is the literature that inspires our growing membership, guides our meetings, and is sent to all who reach out for help—again sharing freely, seeking no monetary gain for yourself.
The literature introduced us to a new language. It taught us to lead with our weakness, bring the inside out, surrender our top plates, take the actions of love. It inspired us to change our thinking and behavior. By putting into practice the principles it described, we learned that sex is optional, lust recovery is possible and love cripples like us can become the joy-filled instruments of a loving God.
We are particularly grateful for the efforts you took, at great cost to yourself and your family, over a number of years, to protect the unique message of sexual sobriety and lust recovery inherent in this literature.
We wish to express our sincere gratitude for the support of your loving wife, Iris, for the sacrifices she made during the years when you worked for SA without monetary compensation, and for her love and courage in not abandoning you and the infant SA Fellowship, during the turbulent years of your marriage. In Iris, the SA Fellowship has no greater non-sexaholic friend.
The health and strength of our Fellowship today, such as it is, is the evidence that your prayers were answered.
Roy, we thank you for your life. You will always be in our prayers.
The SA General Delegate Assembly for the Fellowship, Denver, CO, July 9, 2009
The Searchlight of the Spirit: A Message from Roy K. to the SA Fellowship
When I was asked if I wanted to share anything with the GDA, I thought about it and welcomed the opportunity. First, Iris and I ask God’s richest blessing on all who have expressed concern and have offered prayer. We bless you. I love this very special fellowship of the Spirit, which on the personal relationship level can go so very deep as we “bear one another’s burdens” and so fulfill the law of love. Thank you!
As far as my health is concerned, I am still being treated for a very aggressive cancer, and we don’t know the outcome. The results are in God’s hands. Never has “One day at a time” meant so much. The joyous victory in this trial is that the same One who broke through to me in lust recovery years ago is keeping me sober one fear and uncertainty at a time. It’s a whole new program, and I’m asking that I not miss the blessing that’s on the other side of this. “The Lord is good, and His mercy endures forever.”
This personal trial for me is not unlike many we have encountered in the history of SA itself and will doubtless continue to encounter. The unique need and promise of our recovery—deliverance from the power of lust in all its forms—makes our “impossible” principles an easy target for compromise or questioning, especially from within SA itself, as our own history continues to reveal. Long before cancer actually appears, the body’s cells can start going haywire if our immune system has been degraded. The immune system for Sexaholics Anonymous is our Twelve Traditions. Though they were discovered in the crucible of AA’s experience, we find that we are continually tempted to disregard some of their early warning immune degradation indicators. They knock us in the head periodically and try to get our attention. That’s how we’re learning their truth for ourselves! The hard way. So I challenge you to continue discovering together and afresh, the deep import and relevance of that amazing trinity of SA Traditions—Traditions One, Three, and Twelve.
What constitutes SA unity, and why does personal recovery depend upon it? What are the implications of our requirement for membership—“the desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober”? What constitutes sexual sobriety, and what constitutes lust recovery? And how may we unwittingly be putting personalities before principle? How does all this tie in together? Yes, we’re being tested here in all three. And we shall be tested! Let us examine ourselves honestly and often in the searchlight of the spirit of these time-tested realities.
Therefore stand! Stand on principle. Stay true to our historic and unique calling. Yes, it is unique. And don’t be afraid of voices that would try to make this an “easier” program.
I love this fellowship—with the whole history of its problems and adversity. God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. We are “more than conquerors” through Him who loved us and called us into being for the glory of His grace. Stand fast. Times may get tougher. Contend for the truth. Above all, let us be ready to offer, through our own personal lust recovery testimonies, what increasing thousands will need and seek. And above all, let us love one another in the truth.
I believe a new beginning awaits us as we discover the impossible reality of lust recovery under God and humble ourselves before Him so He can pour out His blessing on those who suffer.
I thank you for your lives and service. May God bless you all. Be blessed and be a blessing as you work together this week and in time to come.
Roy K.