It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m having a great conversation with a fellow SA member about the Eighth and Ninth Steps and the amends letter he is trying to write to his wife. It’s not unusual for me to spend my Sunday afternoons this way, except that this one is happening in the visitation room at the state prison, and today is Father’s Day.

The prisoner, an SA member, was fortunate to have been a member of our local SA group for about 10 months before being incarcerated. He used that time wisely by getting a sponsor and seriously working the Steps. He had a spiritual awakening that, among other things, has allowed him to make the most of his time in prison.

When he first went away, he wasn’t allowed to have visitors for several months. Then he was placed in a state prison over 300 miles away, and visiting him wasn’t feasible for most of us. His sponsor did visit him there once though. His sponsor also went to great lengths to keep Sam included in our group. He made frequent announcements in meetings, sharing Sam’s address and his news, and encouraging other members to write letters. Several of us wrote and Sam always responded promptly. It turns out that prisoners also need money, so his sponsor arranged for several of our members to send him money every month. Sam tells us about fellow prisoners who receive no mail and have no money.

After about a year, Sam was transferred to the prison in our community. His sponsor investigated how we could be approved as visitors and again made announcements asking other members to apply to visit Sam. This prison has a three-week rotation of visiting times. A few non-SA friends from the small town where he used to live cover the first week, and the members of our SA group cover the other two weeks in the cycle. Six or eight SA members split up those two days. The visiting sessions are two hours long, and he is allowed a maximum of three visitors each Sunday. Sometimes three of us bring him a meeting; sometimes one of us spends two hours with him.

One of our members acts as schedule coordinator and stays in touch with designated members of Sam’s group of non-SA friends and his extended family so that each Sunday is covered. In the past six months since he was transferred here, we haven’t missed a Sunday. Our visit is the high point of his week. Carrying the message in this way is something we can do together that none of us could do alone.

My last visit with Sam started out with him talking quickly and urgently, dominating the conversation. It seemed that he felt he needed to entertain me, or perhaps he was starved for conversation with outside people. I just relaxed and listened for a while. Eventually I found an opening to talk about the Steps; he was struggling with preparing an amends letter.

As we began talking about Steps Eight and Nine, something magical happened. It was as though the rest of the room disappeared and together he and I were taken into another dimension. We lost track of time, sharing experiences, hopes, fears, solutions, and promises. We were transformed, and I truly experienced my spiritual nature. Out of nowhere came the announcement, “Visitation is now over.” We hugged and I left. Overcome with gratitude, I sat in my car collecting myself until I could drive home. I called another member to share this precious gift. God is in prison too!

It is likely that Sam will spend nine years in prison for his sexual acting out. His wife and children have not written or visited him. He relies on us, his SA family of choice to bring him the hope and love of the Road of Happy Destiny. We believe in him when he can’t believe in himself. Thanks to his experience with both the program and the fellowship of SA, Sam is making the most of his prison experience and will be prepared for a new way of life when he gets out.

So it’s Father’s Day and I’m having a spiritual experience at prison with a guy who can’t see his children. My wife and sons are patient with me. They know we will spend some quality time together later in the day. Although the frequent telephone calls, evening meetings, and weekend sessions with those I sponsor sometimes test my family’s patience, they understand the importance of SA in my life. I am very grateful to the One who kept me from the full consequences of my acting out.