I came into SA when I was 23. In meetings, I would sometimes hear other members share about the tactics they had used in their sickness to isolate themselves from other sexaholics. I related to their tactics—thus making it easier for me to justify acting out.

One of my temptations has been to use my age as a justification for isolation. I have thought, “I can recover when I’m older” or “I’m still better off at my age than the older members of the group were.” This was a futile attempt to control and enjoy my addiction.

For over a year I tried to convince myself that certain facts of my life—such as being single and never having to pay a mortgage—meant that I wasn’t an addict. At times I felt that other members seemed to be more lenient on me. Thank God that my first sponsor was not one of those because, after I had been in the program for a year without ever having received a 30-day chip, he fired me.

After that I went on a week-long binge. I had been using my age as an excuse to isolate myself from the program. Today I see that my age does not excuse me from my disease. In fact, if I’m not surrendered, it can actually serve as a mechanism to further it.

After bingeing for a week and again losing control of myself, I crawled back to an SA meeting and asked a different member to be my sponsor. Thankfully, he saw straight through my facade and made it perfectly clear that age would not be an excuse, and that it was time for me to get sober. If he was going to sponsor me then I needed to make commitments to the fellowship and stay connected with other addicts. These commitments have become my strength in staying sober. Ironically, it is only after experiencing sobriety that I have been sure I’m a sex addict. I also recognize that age is as foolish an excuse as gender, race, or socioeconomic status.

Every week I meet for breakfast with several guys from our local meetings. I make at least two phone calls every day. I’m becoming more open and vulnerable inside the meetings and out. These are the things that give me the strength to work my program.

A couple of months ago, a newcomer was sharing at a meeting that his wife had kicked him out and he was afraid he was going to lose his family. An older member leaned over and said, “You never have to go there if you stay sober now.” That has stuck with me ever since.

As a young person, I have a tremendous opportunity to grow in recovery and give back to the fellowship that has given me so much. The circumstances that led me to SA and recovery were a gift from God for which I am truly thankful. But whether I am 23 or 100—it will always be only one day at a time.