I had been in SA for about a year and was working on my Third Step when I was scheduled to be sent to the other side of the country for a year of training with my religious community. Because this training year is very structured, I did not want to go (my disease hates structure). I spent five or six months wishing the training would be cancelled.

One day, after complaining yet again to my sponsor about this program, he stopped me and said, “There is only one question here: Do you think you can stay sober during your year out there?” I knew that I had many tools at my disposal, and that the structured life of the training year could even be good for my sobriety. I just did not want to go! But his question stopped my complaining, and, as difficult as it was to admit, I said, “Yes, I think I can stay sober.”

Upon arriving at the center where the year would be spent, I started building my SA program with phone meetings, calls to my sponsor, emails to other members, and reading lots of literature. There weren’t any face-to-face SA meetings in the area, but there were open AA meetings. I asked those in charge of my training for permission to go to one of the open AA meetings. They knew I was in SA so they encouraged me to go—with the condition that I tell the other trainees where I was going. They reasoned that, since we would be spending a year together, it was important that we be open with each other. I thought that was fair and prepared myself to make the announcement.

When the day came, I stood up after a class and said that I was going to an AA meeting that afternoon. The response was overwhelming. Five people came up to me afterwards and expressed their interest in the program. One guy came with me to a meeting that very same day. Everyone else thanked me for being so honest and said they admired my courage.

In the car on the way to the meeting, the guy who came with me said, “I’m going to this meeting but AA is not my primary fellowship.” Sensing that he wanted to disclose more, I told him that I too am in another fellowship for problems with pornography (I find this is the easiest way to explain sexaholism to someone not in the program). “Sexaholics Anonymous” I blurted out.

“Really? Me too!” he exclaimed. God sent me another SA! I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

From that day on, the other SA and I have had mini-meetings together, reading from the program literature and sharing our experience strength and hope. A third person has now joined us. God is using me to carry the message to others. My sobriety has never been better!