Told by a Denver 2016 Conference SA speaker: What is the difference between a jet engine and a commercial airline pilot? When you get to the gate, the jet engine stops whining…

[Ed.: This works if the pilot is a sponsee, too.]

What is the difference between your therapist and your sponsor? The only time your sponsor says the word “closure,” it is immediately followed by “your mouth.”

The speaker was going on and on. A man in the fifth row stood up and walked out. As the speaker was winding up, the man returned. After the meeting, the speaker asked the man where he went. “I went for a haircut,” he said. “A haircut? Why didn’t you get a haircut before the meeting started?” The man replied, “I didn’t need a haircut before the meeting started.”