J'ai pris contact avec un membre des SA en juin 2017 en réponse à son courriel envoyé deux mois auparavant, et j'ai su que j'avais un problème avec mon comportement compulsif. Au quotidien, je satisfaisais mes « besoins » comme un automate programmé pour effectuer des recherches répétitives. Je cherchais à combler le vide terrible que ma vie secrète cachait depuis des lustres.
Le chapitre du Livre blanc intitulé "La luxure - La force derrière la dépendance" est, à mon avis, une magnifique introduction aux fondements de ce qu'est réellement la luxure. Dans ce chapitre, Roy définit la luxure comme "une attitude exigeant qu'un instinct naturel serve des désirs contre-nature" (SA 40). C'est certainement ce que j'ai vécu.
L'un de nos amis détenus, Raphael S., qui a publié deux articles dans ESSAY au cours des deux dernières années, a lancé une réunion SA dans la prison d'État de Virginie. Il parraine un autre détenu. Il est important pour eux de faire partie de la fraternité bien qu'ils soient incarcérés.
Dear Porn, I gotta say that this is the weirdest thing for me to be doing right now, but I wanna thank you for lotsa stuff. Y’know, we haven’t been in contact now for like 126 days (but who’s counting), and I’m not gonna lie—I DO miss you. A whole lot. See? I even count the days! That’s how important you are were in my life!! And although I don’t want you in my life anymore, there was a time that you were crucial to my survival. We’ve been through a lot together and, although it’s time to say goodbye, I really must say thank you first.
I was born in Nicaragua. My parents divorced when I was a baby. I was raised by my maternal grandparents in the countryside until about 8 years old. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, I was sexually abused by two adult men who were neighbors.
For me, sexual lust started as a simple game that I played with the kid next door. I never imagined that such a game could develop into a "way of life." My family paid more attention to my beautiful, smart sister, and to attract their attention, I started stealing from them to get more attention. This didn’t work. I didn’t know how to say, “I’m here! See me! Love me! I need my father to hold me!”
I reached out to an SA member in June 2017 in response to his email sent two months before, and I knew I had a problem with my compulsive behavior. On a daily basis, I was satisfying my “needs” like an automaton programmed to perform repetitive searches. I kept trying to fill the terrible emptiness that my secret life hid for ages.
The chapter in the White Book titled "Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction," is, in my view, a magnificent introduction to the underpinnings of what lust is really all about. In that chapter Roy defines lust as "an attitude demanding that a natural instinct serve unnatural desires" (SA 40). That was certainly my experience.
One of our friends-in-prison, Raphael S., who has had two articles over the last couple of years in ESSAY, started an SA meeting in Virginia State Prison. He is sponsoring another fellow. It’s meaningful for them to be part of the fellowship although they are incarcerated.
I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.
