I am a grateful recovering sexaholic and an orthodox Jew. I have been obsessed with sex and lust almost as long as I can remember. I can recall at age twelve, sitting in the bathroom in Israel, playing with myself. By age thirteen, I was masturbating compulsively.
My name is Brad and I’m an addict. A SAD addict. That’s not the state of my condition; it’s the state of my life. SAD stands for Sex, Alcohol and Drugs. These aren’t the only addictions I have.
At an international conference sometime in the early 1990s, I was standing at the entrance of the hotel restaurant and I noticed some papers lying by the cash register. I picked them up and read: “Desire for Sobriety: daily renewal with sobriety partners.” I thought, hmmm, probably this wasn’t meant to be left by the cash register.
I think for me, the most important Step was Step “0.” So, before I attempted to do the SA Twelve Steps, I’ve been working on Step Zero. Here’s a format I wrote, answered, and read to my Accountability Partner and my Sponsor.
I learned rage and anger early on. Why? I was neglected as a child. I was snubbed by all the beauties in high school. I was rejected by the snobs and socialites and laughed at by the affluent. I was bullied by the big jocks and harassed by the smart alecks. I was a loser at all sports and taken advantage of by the losers who were the only ones I was comfortable with. I know what it is to feel like a nobody and a nothing.
In recovery, I’ve learned something interesting about my telephone: it only rings when I dial numbers. When I stop dialing, it stops ringing.
My name is Ted L., and I’m a gratefully recovering sexaholic. They say that God works in mysterious ways, and for me it’s been a doozy! I was 38 years old, and had lived a life of slavery to lust, sex, and myself. I’d been in prison for six years for rape, and was finally beginning to come to terms with the evil I had done in my life. I thought that it would help my parole chances if I could get some kind of program set up at my facility.
I was well on my way to being an addict by age eleven. Pre-puberty masturbation was already a regular part of my life and it wanted more and more. By age thirteen, I was experimenting with sexual activity with my younger sister. We feared being caught and punished, so we stopped.
I can hardly believe that I have been in SA for an entire year. More unbelievable is that I have been sober the entire time. My sponsor always reminds me that it is truly a miracle. My sponsor is right; it is truly a miracle.
Tonight, as I walked my dog, I learned a lesson in recovery. She’s still as hyper as a puppy at three years of age. Most of her time is spent either in a kennel or the small duplex we rent. I try to walk her around the block several times every day. I use a long retractable leash to let her roam a bit but keep her safe. Often she will end up at the end of the leash.
