Beyond My Wildest Dreams
In August 2010, a prison psychologist in Mercer, PA contacted SAICO to inquire about SA’s support for prisoners, and I responded to the inquiry. The psychologist informed me that the prison administration for the State of Pennsylvania has mandated that all 27 prisons implement Twelve Step recovery programs for sexual addiction.
Dear Fellow SA Members: Gratitude is more than a word. It is an action. Gratitude is the heart’s memory. May we find thankfulness in our hearts that we have found SA. Thankfulness not only for the fellowship, the Steps, the Traditions, and a personal relationship with God—but also for the friends we’ve found, who we cherish as brothers and sisters.
“Baby, it’s cold outside,” are words from a classic wintertime song. For those of us who live in Southern California, “cold” means that the temperatures have dropped below 70 degrees. 70 degrees will be the average daytime temperature for the January 2011 SA/S-Anon International Convention.
The Big Book says that “resentment is the number one offender” of alcoholics (AA 64). I can’t help but think that ego is also the number one killer of sexaholics.
I resisted coming to SA at first, thinking that the sobriety definition was extreme and insisting that I was not a sexaholic—just overly romantic. But I had been in other recovery programs long enough to hear things like, “If my way is not working, maybe I should try what is working for someone like me.”
While on vacation, I went for a walk through a nature preserve. To my surprise, I saw a patch of wild raspberries. I couldn’t resist picking a handful. They were delicious. I walked in that nature preserve nearly every day for a week. I kept finding more delicious raspberries.
I’ve heard many times in various recovery programs that “Coincidences are miracles where God chooses to be anonymous.” In my personal experience, that statement has proven to be true.
The Third Tradition is a bringer of many gifts. It makes me a member of the Fellowship. It identifies “lust” as my problem. It is the spiritual link that joins me to other recovering sexaholics and ensures that the meeting will be a safe haven where I can bring lust to the light.
When I started working the SA program, I really didn’t know anything about the Twelve Steps. I was relieved to find that Step One appeared to be so self-explanatory. It asked me to admit that I was powerless, and that was easy. I had already lost my marriage, my business, my house, and the care of my children.
On Halloween Day 2010, I stood at my father’s bed and held his hand and forehead as he passed on at age 90. It was time. His life had not been what he had wanted for the past three years—since a large heart attack—and his health had become gradually and steadily worse. So this was peaceful and a time of appropriate ending.
