
Many of the oldtimers who tell their stories here are among the early members of SA’s first groups. They have maintained sobriety. This collection of articles from more than 30 oldtimers bears witness that sobriety in SA can be lasting.
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I have been thinking about some of the old-timers that I have been blessed to know. When I came into the program in 1990 there were Roy K. and Jess L. and Harvey A. Being from Oklahoma and I was in meetings with her, I knew Sylvia J. There have been some other wonderful people.
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As we are present in Germany since 1984 with the first SA group starting in Karlsruhe, we have already translated the majority of the English books, brochures and flyers into German and they are used as conference approved SA literature in German SA meetings.
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For many sexaholics English is a second language. I am not a language expert. However, I have noticed that issues arise for SAs using English in readings and discussion. A person’s mother tongue is their heart and gut language. When talking about childhood issues, family of origin issues, in my opinion, this is the language that needs to be used.
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Early in Sexaholics Anonymous my sponsor said that “the most important quality for recovery is being and remaining teachable.” After thirty years his statement still lingers in my thoughts every day.
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My wife and I were asked to give a SA/S-Anon workshop in Toronto. We planned a vacation around this trip, including driving to St. Louis from Nashville and then continue the drive to Toronto via Niagara Falls. This was a bit optimistic for a 79 year old man, but sanity has not been one of my stronger qualities!
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For me this is a Program of action. I use a handful of coins with newcomers as a tool to explain Steps 1 through 3.
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During the July SA International Conference in St. Louis the Essay had the pleasure of meeting Helmut M. from Germany. Since 1989 Helmut has provided the translations of SA literature into German. During visits to Germany Roy K. stayed with Helmut in his home. He later stayed with Roy and Iris in Simi Valley, California.
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In 1993, my wife and I led a church singles ministry. During a pool party at a single’s house while playing catch, my six-year-old son looked at me and said, “Daddy, why do you keep looking around? Why don’t you just play catch with me?” I believe that was the first time anyone spoke to me about my looking at the women around me.
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My wife and I were babysitting two of our grandchildren for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon I was keeping my grandson company, lounging next to him on the couch with my legs up on a hassock as he watched his favorite television program.
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I just read the Essay. Really enjoyed it. I offer a short quote in response to the February 2018 issue on mixed meetings:
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I would be disappointed to stop using the original SA logo [Essay, February 2018] with its rich history and symbolism.
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Okay everyone. Wow! I’m Harvey A., sexaholic from Nashville, TN. I’ve been sexually sober thirty-three years and ten months. But there is someone in this room who has more sobriety and who is a pioneer of pioneers. To be a woman, and the oldest in sobriety basically, and to break these frontiers, Sylvia, would you stand? [Applause]
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I came in fearful and trembling as a newcomer to SA. My first meeting didn’t really happen. I arrived fifteen minutes early and the door was still locked. So I sat in my car to wait and watched as one, two, three, four, five men arrived, one at a time. No women. I was too frightened to go in.
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“Must be nice to go to all those places and have them pay.”
I do hear that said from time to time. First, let me say that I get more out of speaking places than anyone else. I love the chance to share my Experience, Strength, and Hope with others.
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The Old-Timers’ panel in Newark last summer was comprised of Dee (1987), Tom (1987), Pat (1996), Mitch A. (1985), Margo C. (1986), and Harvey A. (1984). Part I was in the December Essay.
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For sexaholics one of the most difficult parts of recovery is that our program is so simple. We have the Steps suggested as a program of recovery and we are told to ask God’s protection and care with complete abandon. Our recovery goal is equally simple: we have a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps.
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Dear Essay,
The program states in the 12th Step, “We tried to carry this message to sexaholics…” and the 5th tradition, “Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.”
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At the Jersey Strong conference in Newark in July 2017 there was an Old-Timers panel meeting. The speakers with 30-plus years sobriety included Dianne (1987), Margot (1986), Harvey (1984), Mitch (1985), and Tom (1987).
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As a member of the Public Information (PI) Committee I have been asked to inform you of the two videos that are imbedded in the www.SA.org website. One is a 30-second public service spot and the other is a 3-minute introduction to SA and could be used in introducing SA to the helping community.
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While in Egypt in January for an SA workshop, the members took me to see some special sights. One day, three young men wanted me to see a couple of special mosques.