Step Ten Archives - The ESSAY Magazine

Working Step 10 to Make Positive Connections

Recently, I have been attending meetings where the readings were taken from our Recovery Continues book. In one meeting, we read: “Lust is a function of my ego, just as resentment is. I, the lord of my life—lord over that lust object and over that resentment object—unleash a spiritual force against them both, against their wills, perverting the reality of their person to suit my twisted need. What is that negative connection? Why must I keep on making it? So I won’t have to look at myself.” (RC 43)

By Anonymous, USA|2026-05-17T00:25:33-05:00February 26, 2021|Comments Off

Making Amends

In recovery, I’ve learned to make prompt amends. In the past, when I wronged someone but did not make amends right away, the wrong would haunt me for days. A quick amends, however, can erase the toxicity of what I’ve done, and often creates a new connection with the other person (as well as with myself).

By Anonymous|2026-05-17T14:36:13-05:00September 18, 2010|Comments Off

Becoming the Spouse I Want to Be

In the Big Book story “Acceptance Was the Answer” (407), the author notes that his own home is the most difficult place to work his program (419), and that he eventually had to work the Steps a second time, focusing exclusively on his marriage. Following are two examples that show how specific Steps have helped me become the kind of spouse I want to be.

By LB B.|2026-05-17T14:44:21-05:00March 19, 2010|Comments Off

Working Step Ten with My Wife

I’m Dave, a grateful recovering sexaholic, sober by God’s grace since January 2004. My wife has been active in recovery working both Al-Anon and S-Anon for many years. We share “the Real Connection” because we each work our own programs.

By Dave Mc.|2026-05-17T22:24:01-05:00March 28, 2009|Comments Off

Step Ten Every Day

Every morning while the water is heating for my coffee, I write in the notebook I always carry in my pocket. This is in the form of a personal letter to God on the following topics: my feelings, how I am doing, and what I am harboring.

By Alex R., San Diego, CA|2026-05-17T22:41:31-05:00March 24, 2005|Comments Off

The Tenth Step

When I began my sobriety in recovery in SA over three years ago, I listened to the Tenth Step as it was read at every meeting. At that time all I could hear was the reflection of my guilt, my shame and my pain. I thought that this Step meant that I would have to quickly proclaim to everyone all the screw-ups that I make in my life. I had enough difficulty revealing my past screw-ups!

By P.G.|2026-05-17T23:09:30-05:00March 28, 1993|Comments Off

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