Dear Essay, Over the last several years I have noticed that speakers at International, regional, and even local meetings are not really sharing the pain of what got them to SA. They skip over the past with vague generalizations, so as to get to the recovery part and “focus on the solution.” I think this is misguided. As a newcomer, I need to hear the problem, so I know you understand what I am going through.
WOMEN SA MEMBERS!! There’s a great new service project being worked on, and we need YOUR help!
From where does your group get SA literature? Who provides informational packets to individuals trying to start a new group? Who helps the desperate sexaholic connect with a group, or another member? From whom can you obtain information about meetings and contacts when traveling? Who provides online registration for our International Conventions?
I came in fearful and trembling as a newcomer to SA. My first meeting didn’t really happen. I arrived fifteen minutes early and the door was still locked. So I sat in my car to wait and watched as one, two, three, four, five men arrived, one at a time. No women. I was too frightened to go in.
In our suggested meeting format, just before the end we read: “Our public relations policy is based on attraction, not promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and film.” Sometimes I add: “Please talk to me before you choose to break your anonymity. I made a real mess doing that.”
The concept of anonymity as applied to Twelve Step Programs appears in Traditions Eleven and Twelve, which give guidelines for members of the fellowship.
Do you have a problem with money? I did. I had too much!
Recently, I volunteered to lead a meeting in my home group on the topic of Tradition One. I felt quite confident of my ability to explain the Tradition. After all, I’ve been sober in SA for six years (I’m a member of another Twelve-Step fellowship)—and I can recite the Traditions by heart!
Recently, while sitting in an SA business meeting, I began feeling uncomfortable. It seemed that others were not sufficiently valuing my opinion! I began feeling hostile, but I was unwilling to admit it to myself. In that moment, a lust image I thought I had given up came to the forefront of my mind.
The Third Tradition is a bringer of many gifts. It makes me a member of the Fellowship. It identifies “lust” as my problem. It is the spiritual link that joins me to other recovering sexaholics and ensures that the meeting will be a safe haven where I can bring lust to the light.
