I learned about the sobriety definition (ludicrous!) and the Steps (no problem!) more than 20 years ago. In my head I completed them all in short order — until I became more desperate and got a sponsor. We agreed to work the Steps together.
After Step One in our book Sexaholic Anonymous on page 87 it says: “This is why ‘telling all’ is not taking the First Step. Such confession can be anything from boastful replay to anguished dumping or intellectual analysis. And even then, it’s not really ‘all’ and often is only surface material. In truth, we don’t ‘take’ the First Step; it takes us.
When I am pushing my way and it’s not going the way I want it to, I stop and pay attention. If there is time, I take a walk in the woods, sit with my back to a tree, feel the ground and the roots for the grounding effect, look at the treetop for the spiritual connection and the trunk for my physical connection.
A few years into my recovery I found myself periodically delving into some very negative emotions. These incidences were sometimes triggered by things like dealing with difficult people, having to make difficult decisions when there seemed to be no good options, and trying to cope with marital difficulties.
One night, at our home group meeting we discussed the SA group’s Primary Purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers (Tradition 5). Someone commented how helpful it would be to have a visual explanation of the Steps to share with newcomers. Below is what we created, and it has helped many newcomers ever since.
This year, from small beginnings, SA in Ireland is celebrating 20 years of Irish Conventions since its first convention in October 1996. This follows the sobriety of our longest serving member, Robert L. We now have three all-Ireland conventions per year, in spring (Esker), summer (Dublin) and in fall (Ballyvaloo).
My name is Tom M. I have been in recovery and sober since December 2007. Recently I had a phase when many things bothered me. I was mad at people at work, my wife’s requests didn’t make sense to me, things at church annoyed me, and the list went on and on.
I like that SA is a mixed group. However, sometimes as a woman I feel there are double standards in SA around how to dress in meetings, especially as the weather gets warmer.
Hey, this is ___. I am calling because I am disturbed right now. I just left a message with my sponsor and he did not answer. I am calling until I get somebody live. No matter what, I need to talk about it. I am on campus while my girlfriend is in class. There was an angry street preacher here today and, of course, there were crowds yelling back and forth with him. I wanted to watch, but really I was just using this situation to lust.
My name is Brad and I am a sexaholic. When I say “I am a sexaholic,” I am admitting that I belong to a class of people for whom lust has become an addiction. I have finally accepted the truth that whenever my behavior is driven by an attitude of lust, there will almost certainly be consequences, pain, and humiliation. There is no exception to this reality.
