Fenner U. — A Remembrance
He would tell anyone who would listen that SA saved his life. On March 10, 2015, Fenner U., one of SA’s longest-standing and staunchest members, went home to be with God.
Starting to Feel
As I type this, it’s 2:34 a.m., and I have reached a little over eight months of sobriety. I just experienced what I believe may be the first depths of recovery but I’m not sure. When I first entered through the SA doors and was shown how to surrender my lust by my sponsor, my life changed in that moment.
Giving Back
I came into SA in October 2014, on the advice of a friend in another Twelve Step program. I started working the Steps with a female sponsor (the only SA woman in my area), but the situation did not work out, so I asked one of the men in my home group to be my sponsor. But this did not work out so well either.
The Fellowship of Sobriety
The first thing I remember from my childhood is that I spent every waking minute reading stories of beautiful, fragile princesses, who would be rescued by handsome princes on white horses. I would spend many hours going through every detail so that I could be just like a princess, so that when my prince arrived I would be ready to go with him and live happily ever after.
Willing to Wait
I came into SA a little over three years ago, when I was 19. By the grace of God and thanks to this program, I have been blessed with sobriety one day at a time since my first meeting, a few days after my sobriety birthday on March 8th, 2012. I’m grateful for this opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope with the fellowship—as well as the events that led up to it.
Lying to Myself
I’ve been sober in SA for seven years now, and today I’m grateful to be a sexaholic. Because of SA, I have a life worth living, tools to help me live that life, and the ability to help others live a life worth living by working the Twelve Steps. But it wasn’t always this way; I had a lot of resistance at first. So I decided to write a few things about my early resistance to working this program of recovery, in case my experience might benefit others.
Leaving the Nest
When a young bird is hatched, all it knows is the insatiable urge to be fed, crying out for its next meal. As the chick grows, the time comes when he is finally able to look outside the nest and see all the mature birds soaring through the air.
Recovery in Marriage
My wife and I recently celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say that the last 13 ½ years have been better than the first 36 ½ years, for two reasons. The first reason is that I’ve been sober for 13 ½ years, and the second is that in the last 13 ½ years we have experienced honesty, respect, unity, and love—love that is expressed in so many different ways in our relationship.
My Experience with Sober Dating
When I came into SA in 2009, I balked at the part of the sobriety definition that says “no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse” (SA 191-192). I had come from a secular upbringing, and I lived through three divorces of my parents. First they divorced each other, then each of them married someone else, and then each divorced again. Marriage was not for me.
Getting Back on Track
I was on a slippery slope. For the past few months I had begun indulging in lust, as well as resentment, anger, and self-pity. I was yelling at my kids, demanding things from my husband and family, and wallowing in self-pity. I was spending more time in my head, in fantasy about past sexual encounters.
