I have often heard talk about the need to “hit bottom” in order to get sober. But what is this “bottom”? I’ve heard members share that they hit bottom after being arrested or losing a job, or after a spouse threatened divorce or actually filed for divorce. Yet these members continued to act out.
A few years ago I decided that I would not call myself sober if I engaged in “lust-driven use of the Internet.” My particular disease has not (so far) included prostitutes, affairs, or even masturbation, but I recognized that, at least for me, the act of clicking that suspect link is a “drink” that triggers my own disease and insanity.
I was born with a fatal kidney disease. It wasn’t diagnosed until I was 22 years old. Once it was diagnosed, my doctors could keep an eye on it and help me learn how to live with it.
Recently I had an exciting opportunity in my recovery—something I had never done before. I was invited to tell my story to a group of Russian SAs. Did I travel to Russia? Not exactly. Am I proficient in the Russian language? No way. Was this all a dream? Sort of. Let me explain.
I was born in 1947, the middle of five children in a Catholic family. My oldest brother died of a mental illness when he was 30. I don’t remember much of my childhood, except that I seemed to be in a constant state of fear.
I resisted coming to SA at first, thinking that the sobriety definition was extreme and insisting that I was not a sexaholic—just overly romantic. But I had been in other recovery programs long enough to hear things like, “If my way is not working, maybe I should try what is working for someone like me.”
While on vacation, I went for a walk through a nature preserve. To my surprise, I saw a patch of wild raspberries. I couldn’t resist picking a handful. They were delicious. I walked in that nature preserve nearly every day for a week. I kept finding more delicious raspberries.
The Third Tradition is a bringer of many gifts. It makes me a member of the Fellowship. It identifies “lust” as my problem. It is the spiritual link that joins me to other recovering sexaholics and ensures that the meeting will be a safe haven where I can bring lust to the light.
I first went to SA about two years ago, after several years of membership in another S-fellowship. “Knowledge and pride were our chief obstacles here” (SA 91). There was hardly any sobriety in the few young SA groups in my country and no group recovery—and the sobriety definition was being neglected.
The start of SA Belgium is quite a funny story. In July 2008, a Belgian member from another S-fellowship traveled to Akron, OH, to participate in the SA International Convention there. A couple of years before, he had sought help in another fellowship because he wanted to stop... smoking!!
