For my Step Three, my sponsor suggested that I answer a standard set of questions that we use in our local groups. The answers I found were illuminating for me, and I shared my Step Three with my SA group. The feedback I got from the group was positive—several members even encouraged me to submit my Step to ESSAY!
I’m Steve, a recovering sexaholic, sober since December 14, 2002. I am living a much better life today, thanks to SA and the Twelve Step program of recovery.
I’m certain that I’ve experienced miracles from God throughout my recovery. I’m also certain that I’m blind to most of His handiwork. So the times when I can emphatically state “That was a God thing” are very special to me. One such time occurred at my first SA International Convention.
“I’m in a serious, monogamous relationship. I love him, and I’m certain that we’re going to get married. Why doesn’t SA support sex in this type of committed relationship? I’m able to stay present during sex, and it’s about connection, not escape. I don’t have religious convictions about waiting until marriage.
As I travel to many states and countries sharing my recovery message, I’m often asked the same question: “When and how should I tell the people closest to me that I’m a member of SA?” While each situation is different, I try to pass on general principles.
I’m Robert, a grateful sexaholic. By the grace of God and the miracle of the SA program of recovery, I have not had to act out since October 10, 2010. I recently celebrated my second SA birthday, as well as the removal of my ankle bracelet. After three and a half years in prison and four years on parole, I am again a free man.
Being the perfectionist that I am, I believed for a long time that I had to work the Steps very hard before I could start being joyous. But today, with over 10 years of sobriety, I’ve learned from observing others in recovery that it is possible to find joy on the first day in this program.
I began my recovery from sexual addiction three years ago by joining an online sexual addiction forum. That forum helped, but for me it wasn’t enough. Then I joined a Twelve Step phone conference offered through the forum. That helped more, but twice I relapsed after a seven-month clean streak.
I recently heard a member share in a meeting that he thought SA is not a friendly place for singles because our Sobriety Definition does not allow them to have sex. He questioned how he could be expected to stay abstinent for the rest of his life with that definition. When I heard this I laughed; maybe because I’ve had the same thought at times.
Two years ago, I was halfway through graduate school and living in Nashville. I thought I was doing pretty well for myself—until I sat down with my girlfriend in a student counseling session and explained my acting-out behaviors.
