I would like to share how the program has given me the gift of lowering the volume of my fears. I cannot say that they are totally gone, but today I can live with them. I used to wake up in the morning with a feeling of dread when facing the day. The day scared me: the responsibilities, the fear of disappointing, the fear of surprises.
He sido una persona que a pesar de haber estudiado una carrera humanística siempre viví una vida en la que el centro de todo era yo. Yo no le servía a nadie. Más bien, y salvo pocas excepciones, me servía de todos y de todo.
Recently I asked the Illinois Department of Corrections for permission to start a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. They denied my request, saying that they use a research-based model in the treatment of addictions. I was dismayed. While there are many components in an addiction, there definitely is a spiritual aspect. Can research be made on a process that takes place in the heart?
Dave T. (the Stringman) recently visited Australia with the support of various International SA committees, for which the Australian SA fellowship is extremely grateful. Dave came to Australia because we want and need to hear from the sober old-timers while they still can make the trip to the other side of the world!
I grew up as a kid in San Diego. My parents fought a lot. When I was seven years old my mother committed suicide. I became afraid, lonely and isolated. After my mother’s death I started going to religious services with my father. He became very involved with religion and I absorbed what I could. I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. I wanted badly to fit in.
I have been a person who, despite having studied humanistic subjects, always lived a life in which the center of everything was me. I did not serve anyone. Rather, with few exceptions, I served myself all and everything.
I came to SA looking to stop ruining my life. I never knew that the key to this was service work. I have been in SA since 2001 (with a long break for research and development). I have never been willing to do what my sponsors asked. I would do half of what a sponsor asked me to do. However, Page 59 of the AA Big Book states “Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point.”
Since 1997 I have been a member of SA and a minister of a church. I have seen some members who have trouble with sobriety because they do not see the difference between religion and spirituality. Some want to rely on prayer to take away the addiction, and they don’t do the steps. Some go to “church” recovery groups which can be helpful, but rigorous honesty is very difficult in a group of mixed addictions.
During the July SA International Conference in St. Louis the Essay had the pleasure of meeting Helmut M. from Germany. Since 1989 Helmut has provided the translations of SA literature into German. During visits to Germany Roy K. stayed with Helmut in his home. He later stayed with Roy and Iris in Simi Valley, California.
Throughout my life I used food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, sex, work, and achievements to fill up a gaping hole inside which never seemed satisfied. I had an insatiable need for recognition from people. I viewed everything through a prism of me, self-obsession to the nth degree.
